


What's in a Name?

by Hubris_BNL



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: M/M, Mentions of past abuse, Soulmate AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-08-24 14:29:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8375695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hubris_BNL/pseuds/Hubris_BNL
Summary: "If we are going to be married-""Be careful how you proceed, good man," Aaron warned furiously, "presumptuous indeed, good man.""You are very good at that, cher. My heart trembles for you.""I hate you."The soulmate au no one asked for but that you're gonna get anyway~





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Who wants to spend time on rare pair garbage hell island with me?

_ Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier _

The name stained the skin around Aaron’s eye like a bruise, long and thin, looping dramatically above his brow and beneath his lower lashes. He’d had it since he was thirteen, which was usually when soulmarks tended to appear, and since then, his life had been...well, hell.

Many people, when they saw the tall, twisting letters, thought it dazzling and elegant. Aaron Burr, however, did not.

“You shouldn’t cover it up,” Theodosia mentioned one afternoon as she watched Aaron smearing the stolen makeup around his eye.

“And why not?”

“Because one, you’re using up all my makeup, and two, when has covering it up it ever worked before?”

“Well...maybe it’ll work this time.”

“Aaron.” Theodosia sighed, taking a small towel from the hook on the wall, “It won’t.”

“Maybe it will.” Aaron’s voice was tinted with frustration because, no it wasn’t working. The name simply showed through the makeup like a beacon, no matter how much he put on. “Dammit!”

“Aaron.” Theo rested a hand on Aaron’s shoulder, turning him to face her, “It’s not meant to be covered.”

Burr scowled as she began to wipe away the makeup around his eye. 

“Don’t tell me you wouldn’t try to hide this...monstrosity if it was on your face! You’re lucky, yours is nice and small.”

“You shouldn’t call it a monstrosity,” Theodosia gasped slightly, “that’s awful! And your soulmate may be nothing like Eliza, so why should their mark be?”

“Because it would make my life easier.”

Theodosia hand paused and Aaron could see her shoulders slump. He shouldn’t have brought it up, and mentally kicked himself for not thinking. But before he could retract it, she was already speaking.

“Aaron, I know things haven’t been...easy for you with this. But you’re free now, you’re living your own life. Are you really going to let your past dictate how you respond to this?”

Even as the words reached his ears, memories of broken ribs and bruises littering his body rushed back to him. His Uncle with the cane, trying to camouflage the letters around his eye within black and blue contusions. His grandfather spewing hateful sermons as if his words alone would banish the male names marking his face.

They never did. 

The damn thing wasn’t even in a place he could easily hide it! If it had been smaller, it wouldn’t have been as much of a problem, but this!? The infuriatingly long name spiralled around his eye like a scar, deterring any and all possible relationships Burr tried to have.

He hated it.

“Yes,” he said finally, “yes I am.”

Theodosia tutted, placing the towel on the countertop and fixing Aaron with a raised eyebrow. 

“You’re going to meet them one day, Aaron, like it or not. And I’ll tell you right now, don’t fuck up your one chance at actually being happy.”

“I doubt this  _ Marie-Joseph _ will make me happy-” he stopped short when he saw the glare on her face. “Fine, fine, I won’t fuck it up.”

“Good,” she smiled at him and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, “I’m off to have lunch with Betsey. Try not to wallow in self pity all day. Get out there.”

“Hamilton invited me for drinks tonight so that'll fill my monthly  _ being social _ quota.”

“Good!” Theodosia brightened, “Now all you have to do is try and enjoy yourself.”

“I'll do my best.”

Theodosia smiled sadly as she looked at him.  Aaron hated it when she looked at him like that. 

“I just want you and to be happy. You know that, right?”

“I know, Theo.” but he sounded drained, “Go on, tell Ms. Schuyler I say hello.”

Aaron listened for the door to his apartment close as Theodosia left. The moment it did, he let out a long and tired sigh. He loved Theo, really he did, but...her view of, well, everything was very different in comparison to Aaron’s. Sure she tried to understand, but she could never really, and he didn’t fault her for that.

He stared at his reflection in the small bathroom mirror, and in turn, at the name circling his eye. The name he knew by heart, no matter how long it was and how many unnecessary middle names there were. The name he’d been so excited to know, and now could only glare at bitterly.

_ Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier _

“I hate you.”

* * *

 

“I love you!”

Lafayette stared at the little name on his hip bone, running his thumb over it gently.

_ A. Burr _

Not even a full name, and letters so small that he had almost missed them the first time he’d looked. But he didn’t mind, his heart still swelled at the very sight of it. His soulmate, his love, whose name was written in such an intimate place that Lafayette knew whoever they were must feel the same as he did. 

At 13, when his father explained to him the importance of his mother’s name on his jaw, and in turn, his father’s name on his mother’s collarbone, he’d raced off to look for his own mark. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t slightly disappointed at the barely visible name hidden on his hip. 

“Perhaps that is just what they are like, cher.” his mother had said, “People say that soulmarks are reflections of the person.”

So his Burr was...small and good at hiding? As the years went on, that’s certainly how it was seeming. Of course he’d searched for them, but came up empty each time. Lafayette was growing frustrated. This  _ A. Burr _ had better be worth all the trouble.

“Maybe they’re hiding from you.” John Laurens suggested one afternoon over lunch. It was their last year of High School and Lafayette was pouting that his friend had found his soulmate, one Alexander Hamilton.

He was ecstatic for John, of course, but why couldn’t his Burr be as easy to find!?

“It would certainly seem that way.” Lafayette’s voice was bitter.

“No like, maybe they’re purposefully hiding from you. Like, they don’t want to meet you.”

Lafayette blinked, staring at his friend in confusion.

“But- they do not even know me.”

“I don’t know, man. Maybe they’re scared. You gonna finish those fries?”

Lafayette mused over this thought. His soulmate, his love, frightened. Of him? The thought almost made him laugh. When he found them, and he would, whoever they were, they would see, they would never have to fear him. But then again…

“Are you afraid, little Burr?” he asked in the silence of his room, his fingertips tapping unconsciously against the name on his hip. “Where are you right now?”

That night, Aaron Burr was standing on the doorstep of one Theodosia Bartow, suitcase in hand and tears pouring down his cheeks.

* * *

 

“So, any luck finding this elusive soulmate of yours?” Alexander asked one wet October evening while they all sat around a small table of their local pub.

“Not as of yet.” Lafayette responded, watching Hamilton out of the corner of his eye.

Years had gone by and the Frenchman was still having no luck in finding his love. However, the more he had gotten to know Alexander since he and John began to go out, the more suspicious he became.

It always seemed like Alexander knew more than he let on. Whenever Lafayette would mention his soul mark or complain about the mysterious  _ A. Burr _ , he would break out into a grin or smile knowingly. When Laf first showed him the mark, he had barked out a laugh, quickly muffling it with his hands. 

Of course Gil had pestered him about it, he was sure that Alexander knew who the person was. 

“My lips are sealed, Laf. This is something you have to find out on your own.”

Which wasn’t fair. But at least he knew he was on the right track, that Hamilton knew this  _ A. Burr. _ He was close. 

“Oh shit, yes!” Alexander shouted out suddenly, breaking Lafayette from his train of thought. “Aaron! Over here!”

Gil looked towards where Hamilton was shouting, his eyes finding a short man only just closing the door of the bar. His heart shuddered suddenly when the man whipped off his hood, shaking the remaining rain from his umbrella. 

He blamed it on too much beer.

He watched the man approach slowly, noticing a dark...something encircling his left eye. A bruise perhaps? Had Alexander invited another Laurens to join their group? When he came nearer, Lafayette saw that it wasn’t a bruise, but words, letters looping wildly around his eye. He almost snorted with laughter. 

Of all the places to have a soulmark, one's face was the worst possible.

The man paused when he got to their table, staring around at the four men. Lafayette couldn’t quite see the letters of the soulmark, but something about them was incredibly familiar. 

“Hamilton.” he said, and Gil’s heart skipped again, “You didn’t say there would be other-”

“People?” Alexander interrupted with a laugh, “These are my friends, Aaron, I didn’t think it was important.”

“ _ Hamilton. _ ” the man sounded tired, and annoyed, which wasn’t exactly abnormal when one was speaking to Alexander Hamilton.

“Come on, Aaron, take a seat.” he pulled out a chair and Aaron sighed, moving to take off his coat, “Guys, this is Aaron Burr-”

Lafayette froze.

Burr…

Burr?

Burr!?

His eyes shot to Alexander, who was looking at him out of the corner of his eye with a smug grin on his face. Lafayette couldn’t breath.

“Aaron, this is John Laurens and Hercules Mulligan.”

“Charmed.”

“And this-”

Alexander paused, turning to look at Lafayette who had suddenly shot out of his chair. Aaron also paused, standing by his own chair, coat hanging over the side. His eyes were wide, startled by the sudden movement. 

Aaron took in the man who stood staring at him from the other side of the table. He was tall, dressed in a rich, purple shirt and low cut jeans. There was something just peeking out from the fabric, like a smudge on his hip bone, and Aaron squinted at it slightly. Why was it so familiar? His eyes snapped up when the man’s fingers tapped against the smudge unconsciously.

He started to stalk around the table, like a panther. All the while, his eyes never left Aaron’s. Their friends only watched with interest and confusion, Hamilton chuckling to himself as Burr attempted to back away.

“Alexander…?” Aaron called out, not taking his eyes off the man approaching him. 

“Oh, I forgot.” he didn’t forget, “Aaron, this is Gilbert. Gilbert du Motier. But we just call him Lafayette.”

~fffffffuck~

Aaron froze. He knew that name, well, he knew that part of the name. It was branded on the side of his face, how could he not!? 

And Lafayette was closing in, standing almost toe to toe with him. His eyes snapped to Hamilton, who was grinning beside his friends, watching the scene before him with glee. 

Burr was going to kill him.

The feeling of a warm hand on his face startled him, and Aaron’s eyes moved slowly back up to Lafayette, who was now standing so close to him that he could feel the man’s breath on his face. Lafayette ran his thumb under Aaron’s eye, over the looped writing of his name, holding the smaller man’s face still as he stared. 

This…was it. This was his soulmate, his Burr,  _ Aaron  _ Burr! Lafayette had at least been right about one thing. He was small, only just reaching his chin. But he was beautiful, more so than Lafayette could have imagined. His mother had been right. There was no doubt that this man belonged to the short, little name hiding on his hip.

“Burr.” 

Aaron’s breath caught in his throat at the sound of the man’s voice; deep, and affectionate, which was what frightened him the most. This man was undoubtedly his soulmate, not simply because Hamilton had said it, but he could feel it, deep in his chest, he knew. He felt...whole as he stood with him.

And it was worse than he could have imagined. The name around his eye obviously belonged to this man, he looked just like it. Gaudy, was the first word to go through Aaron’s head. His hand stroked Aaron’s cheek gently, and Aaron clenched his teeth. 

Through the soft touches, Aaron tried to remember that he didn’t want this. That this was the man whose name had put him through so much hell. He...he couldn’t just walk into Aaron’s life and expect Aaron to love him! After everything that had happened!? If he thought that he could just waltz up to Aaron and sweep him off his feet, he was dead wrong.

It just wasn’t fair.

“Do you know how long...I have been searching for you?” Lafayette’s words came out as breathless, his other hand coming up to cup Aaron’s other cheek.

He held the man’s face in his hands, drinking in his soulmate’s expression and - oh, oh he wasn’t looking particularly happy.

“Little Burr?” he asked, and blinked when Aaron recoiled from him, “Cher, what is-”

“Excuse me.” Burr interrupted, his voice shaking slightly, “I really must be on my way. Hamilton.”

Alexander stood up, confused as to what was going on. Aaron tilted his head towards the man only slightly, but the look he gave him was livid and dangerous.

“We will have words later.”

He ripped his coat from the chair, attempting to tear passed Lafayette, but the taller man grabbed hold of his arm, spinning him back around. 

“Kindly,” Burr nearly shrieked, “take your hands off me, sir.”

“Aaron!” Alexander shouted, appalled. 

“Cher,” Lafayette’s voice was soft and his hand loosened on Aaron’s arm, “I do not understand.”

Burr hesitated. He never hesitated, but here he was, having second thoughts, staring deep into the eyes of this stranger, his soulmate. His hand was warm on Aaron’s arm, almost comforting. And the hurt that lay hidden behind those eyes, Aaron’s heart clenched viciously. He didn’t want to hurt this man.

But at the same time…

“Please let go.”

And Lafayette did, only being able to watch as the small man flew from his grasp and out the door of the bar onto the rainy streets. His heart thudded painfully in his chest, feeling as if it had been torn apart. This wasn’t how it was supposed to have gone. What...what happened.

“Fuck, _AARON!_ ” Alexander shouted beside him, “Laf, I’m sorry, really. I mean, shit, I didn’t think this would happen. God, I’m so sorry. I should have left it alone.”

“It is...alright.” It wasn’t alright, “He...does not want me...I-”

“Bullshit!”

Alex and Lafayette turned to see Mulligan grinning at them over his third beer. 

“That’s your boy, Laf, and you’re just gonna let him walk out? After you waited this long for him!?” 

“Yeah, since when have you been a quitter, Laf?” Laurens joined in, a smirk growing on his face. 

“I am not  _ quitting _ ,” Gil sniffed haughtily. He knew what they were doing and frankly...it was working. “I just...do not know where he lives.”

Hamilton cleared his throat loudly, and all eyes turned to him. He had a wide grin on his face.

“I do.”


	2. Helpless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!! I'm so happy w the response this story has been getting, y'all are so sweet and aweosme and i love you all so much!!! Sorry if not much happens in this chapter, it's more of a bridge chapter, but it's cute so...mergh!

Ever since he was young, Lafayette had dreamed about meeting his soulmate. He’d spend sleepless nights grinning up at his ceiling, planning out exactly what he would say, how he would sweep them off their feet and whisk them off back to France with him. 

He would spend his classes doodling on his notebooks, paying more attention to what he pictured their wedding would look like than actually listening to the teacher. He was a romantic, what could he say?

Now he sat in his apartment, nursing a glass of wine, feeling very alone. Hercules, ever rational, had suggested that he not immediately race to Aaron’s place as he was planning to do, and give the man some time. They had just met each other and even Lafayette would admit that he was still a bit shaken.

But  _ GOD! _ He’d just  _ met  _ his  _ soulmate!  _ He broke out into loud, happy laughter, covering his face as he began to blush wildly. It may not have been the perfect first meeting he’d imagined, but it had happened!

He thought back to the small man, his soft features, how his eyes shone when they had first locked on each other, the sound of his voice, well before he had started yelling that is. In short, Lafayette thought he was magnificent, more than anything he could have hoped for.

He placed the wine back on the table, hopping up off the couch and getting changed into his pajamas. As he stood in the bathroom, he considered the little name on his hip, as he did most nights, but this time it was...different.

He smiled to himself. Being able to put a face, a very very cute face, to the name he’d known since childhood was such an odd feeling. Alexander had given him Aaron’s address which he had placed on his bedside table, after a promise that he wouldn’t tell Burr who gave it to him. 

That night however, he fell asleep with a sour feeling in the pit of his stomach. He wanted, now more than ever before, for Aaron to be in bed next to him. He supposed that was the consequence of knowing one's soulmate. Nothing else ever felt good enough until you were together again.

When he didn’t know what it felt like, he didn’t ache for it. 

“What do you fear, little Burr?” he asked into his empty room, his fingers tapping the name on his hip, “Let me help you.”

* * *

The next morning saw Gil standing outside one Aaron Burr’s apartment, dressed impeccably, and holding a bouquet of roses in his hands. Cheesy and obvious, perhaps, but Lafayette had always been one to go for the classics.

He knocked gently on the door, his foot tapping lightly on the carpeted floor of the hallway, and his stomach churning nervously. He hoped today would go better, that Aaron would at least let him get a word in.

The door opened slowly, and Lafayette’s face broke out into a wide grin at the sight before him. Aaron Burr, dressed in a tank top and sweatpants, rubbing his eyes tiredly, as if he had only just woken up. The frenchman held back a dreamy sigh. Oh, what he wouldn’t give to be able to see this everyday.

It was unfairly adorable.

“Good morning, cher.” he exclaimed, reaching out to give Aaron the bouquet-

_ SLAM _

Lafayette stepped back just in time as the door was slammed in his face. He huffed in frustration, stealing himself and taking a deep breath. He knocked lightly on the door again.

“Aaron? Cher?”

He heard a muffled  _ fuck off _ and growled low, trying the door handle. It was, of course, locked, so he chose, rather, to knock again, louder this time.

“Burr, open the door!” silence “We need to talk!”

There was still silence on the other side of the door, though Lafayette could hear him shuffling around inside. 

“Aaron Burr, open the door!”

“I don’t think so.” Burr’s voice was close to the door, and too self satisfied for Gil’s liking.

“You are the  _ worst _ , Burr!” Lafayette shouted, banging his fist against the door.

“What the hell is going on out here?”

Lafayette turned to see a tall man appearing from the apartment next door, dressed in only his boxers and looking incredibly put out. Lafayette gestured to the door with a scowl on his face, and the man sighed loudly before going back inside.

He reemerged with a key in hand, shoving Gil out of the way and grumbling to himself.

“You know how early it is?” he asked, not looking up at the frenchman, “Some people are trying to sleep here.”

“I apologize, but-”

“I’d rather not hear about you and Burr’s little tiff.” the man paused in unlocking the door to spare Laf a critical glance, eyeing the flowers in his hand, “Didn’t know Burr had a boyfriend.”

“Soulmate,” Gil said smugly, “actually.”

The man hesitated, looking him up and down before roaring with laughter.

“That’s your eyesore on Burr’s face!? Jesus, I thought you’d never come along.”

“I think it is a beautiful marking.” Lafayette glared at the man who simply waved him off. He noticed a small signature peeking out behind the man’s ear.

“Whatever you say, buddy.” finally the door swung open, revealing a modest little apartment, well furnished and attractive but lacking in any real style.

Lafayette stepped inside, looking around before he noticed Aaron rushing out of the kitchen, a look of surprise falling almost immediately into fury.

“Jefferson!” Aaron roared, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing!?”

“Woah, see ya.” and he was out the door before Aaron could get another word in. That left Lafayette, whom Aaron immediately rounded on.

“Get the fuck out!” he shouted, but the taller man simply scowled.

“No.” he began taking off his coat, hanging it neatly on the rack by the door before turning to shut the door itself softly.

“No?”

“That is what I said.” Lafayette was glaring now as well, honestly tired of all of this. “We must speak.”

“We  _ must  _ do nothing, now get out.” Aaron was furious, he could tell. 

Lafayette stood back on his heels, appraising the short man with a raised eyebrow. It was interesting seeing him again, his heart still skipped at the very sight of him and he looked just as lovely as the other night, but now Lafayette could actually  _ look  _ at him without him running off.

He looked...delicate, like if Lafayette held him too tightly, he would break. He also looked incredibly close to breaking out in tears, dark bags under his eyes exposing his lack of sleep. Gil couldn’t have that.

“Come, sit.” he said finally, setting the flowers on the side table and wandering into the living room.

“Wait...what?” Aaron blinked, first at the flowers the man had set down, and then at the man himself, who had plopped down on one of the couches, patting the spot next to him invitingly. 

“No.” Aaron, ever stubborn, simply turned his back on the man, sauntering back into the kitchen. “And if you’re not out of here in five minutes, I’m calling the police.”

Lafayette’s laughter was like lightning, loud, sharp, and short. It startled Aaron.

“And what will you tell them, cher?” he asked through giggles, “My soulmate has taken over my apartment and I want him out? They will wave it off as a domestic spat.”

“You’re  _ not  _ my soulmate.”

“Oh, je m’excuse,” Lafayette shot up, his eyes angry and his heart breaking, “is there another Marie-Joseph Paul Yves-”

“Stop it.”

“-Roch Gilbert du Motier I should know about!?”

He was following Aaron now, as the smaller man stalked past him in an attempt to ignore him. 

“I don’t want you.” Burr hissed, glaring when Lafayette grabbed him by the elbow, pulling him back. “I don’t want you here, I don’t want you in my life!”

“Why not!?” Gil demanded. This was not going how he had wanted it to, “Give me a good reason!”

“My reasons are my own.”

“ _ NOT _ when they concern my life as well!” Lafayette was shaking with rage now. How could this man say he didn’t love him? When Gil had spent his life searching for him! “I will  _ not  _ be alone!”

“Then find someone else! Tons of people don’t find their soulmates!” Aaron was grasping at straws here, he knew Lafayette wouldn’t back off. He was afraid, “There’s always someone else!”

“No! There is no one else! There is only you. There has only ever been you!”

Aaron growled low, ripping his arm from Lafayette’s grasp, stomping to the other side of the room. The Frenchman clenched his fists, stalking away in the opposite direction and running a shaking hand through his hair.

“This is a mess.” he admitted, his voice tired.

“You have no idea.” If Aaron had spoken a note lower, Lafayette wouldn’t have heard him. But he did, and the sadness in his voice made him pause.

“Then tell me.”

Aaron didn’t speak, only stared out the long windows of his apartment at the grey sky above. Gil cautiously stepped towards him, standing beside the man, their reflections staring back through the glass.

“So where do we stand?”

“I don’t want you here.”

“And I simply do not accept that, amour.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Well, ideally,” Gil couldn’t help but chuckle, “I would want you to profess your undying love for me, but-”

Lafayette chalked it up as a victory when Aaron snorted in laughter. They were quiet again, but it wasn’t quite awkward.

“I’m sorry,” Burr said suddenly, taking Laf by surprise, “if it makes you feel any better, I’m not doing any of this to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you. I just- it’s complicated.”

“It does not have to be.”

Gil turned to look at the man, his eyes pleading in a final attempt to convince him. But Aaron only smiled at him, a small, sad smile that made his heart swell and break at the same time. 

“I’m afraid it does.”

Frowning slightly, Lafayette searched Aaron’s face for something, some sign that he had a chance at all, but the man’s eyes were guarded. As he stared, he was distracted yet again by the mark around his soulmate’s eye. His name in beautiful cursive, looping around obviously. 

Unconsciously, his hand came up again, touching it softly. His other hand took Aaron’s and moved it slowly to his hip, holding it to his own mark.They were there, they were connected! They were  _ so close _ . 

But Aaron pulled away. 

“I’m sorry.”

Looking at the small man and how he shrank back, almost as if in fear, Lafayette couldn’t find it in himself to be upset. 

“No, do not be.” he took a breath and grinned, “I will simply have to earn your love.”

“Wait, wha-”

“I will show you, Aaron Burr,” Lafayette stepped forward with newfound vigour, “you do not have to be afraid.”

He pressed his lips gently to the soulmark above Aaron’s brow, his thumb caressing the man’s cheek gently. He could feel Burr leaning into the touch before he tensed. So there was hope for him after all.

He pulled back, but his hand lingered on his face, not wanting to break contact, not wanting to leave Aaron alone in the apartment. He wanted to pick him up and race back to his own, keep him where he was safe and loved, but...he couldn’t. Aaron had said no.

So Gil released him, noting the almost disappointment on Aaron’s face and chalking it up as another victory for him. 

“I will be back, mon petit. Have no fear.”

I’m not afraid,” Aaron scoffed, “and  _ don’t  _ come back!”

“ _ Ah _ , you’re voice says no but your eyes, they plead with me.”

“Wha-!”

“Au revoir, cher!” Lafayette had sauntered over to the door as Aaron pursued him, trying to get in a last word. Gil gestured to the flowers on the table, “Be sure to put those in water, or they will wilt, just as my heart shall, the longer I am separated from you.”

“Now wait just one second-”

“Yes?” 

Lafayette’s eyes twinkled in the dull light of the apartment, his hand on the doorknob, and his smile, which made Aaron’s own heart skip multiple beats, was turned on him. He found himself forgetting what he was going to say, rather opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water.

Finally, he swallowed thickly, plastering on a scowl and grabbing the man’s coat off the rack.

“Don’t forget your coat.”

Lafayette gasped in mock outrage, snatching it from Aaron’s hands and sniffing haughtily, before flying out of the apartment with a flourish. 

That left Aaron, staring at the closed door in front of him, feeling...something in the pit of his stomach. Distress perhaps? Disappointment? No, he couldn’t feel disappointed at the man leaving! That just...that couldn’t be…

He let out a loud groan, hiding his face in his hands as his mind whirled. He didn’t know what to feel! There was attraction, obviously, the two were soulmates! But…

Aaron flopped down on the couch, covering his face with a pillow as he screamed out his frustration.

The door creaked open slowly, and for half a moment, Aaron hoped it was Lafayette.

“Hey, Burr, you okay?” came Jefferson’s concerned voice. 

A muffled  _ shit  _ followed when Aaron hurled the pillow across the apartment at the door. 

* * *

Outside, Gil strolled down the street, hands in his pockets, watching the grey clouds move across the sky. The talk hadn’t gone as planned, but at the same time he couldn’t help but feel like he had made at least some progress in the cracking the mystery that was his Aaron Burr.

What John had said so long ago finally made sense. Something frightened him, something was holding him back from loving Lafayette as Lafayette loved him, and he would find out what it was. 

A dopey grin formed on his face as he turned back, sparing Aaron’s apartment window one last glance. He would convince the man that he had nothing to fear, that there was nothing that he could not overcome if he simply allowed Lafayette to help. 

“I love you, Aaron Burr!”

The window rattled slightly and if Lafayette could have smiled any wider, he would have because Aaron’s head popped out, a scowl on his face which was becoming incredibly familiar to him.

“You’re a public nuisance!” he shouted.

“Not a public nuisance!” Gil quipped back, “I will bother only you, mon amour, pour le reste de ma vie!”

“Oh, go away.” Aaron grumbled, glaring once more down at the frenchman before slamming the window shut again.

Gil breathed out a happy sigh. What could he say? 

Aaron Burr simply left him helpless.


	3. What the Heck I Gotta Do?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lafayette wonders what the heck he's gotta do.

It had been about a day or two since Aaron had heard from his supposed soulmate; he still refused to admit that he and Lafayette were a match, even with the man’s name literally staring him in the face every morning. He hoped that the lack of any type of communication from him meant that perhaps he had given up.

He should have known better.

Walking into his office that day, Aaron was immediately pounced upon by Angelica Schuyler.

“Morning, Aaron!” she had a wide grin on her face and Aaron watched her suspiciously. 

“Good morning, Ms. Schuyler.” he continued past her towards his office and she followed, “Is there something I can help you with?”

“No.”

Rolling his eyes, Aaron continued down the hall. Angelica trailed behind him, her smile growing as the drew nearer. She was practically bouncing when they got to the door, and when Aaron opened it?

Well.

“For God’s sake.”

Sitting on his desk was a single pink rose leaning against a large bottle of wine, chilling in a silver ice bucket. A small folded card sat in front of it. To the sound of Angelica’s cackling, Aaron stalked across the office and snatched the card, reading it.

_ Mon amour,  _

_ I hope find this small token of my love respectable. I saw it and could not help but think how you would enjoy it. I think of you often, chéri.  _

_ Have a good day at work, darling! xoxo _

_ ~Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier _ **_♥_ **

“You really hit the jackpot with this one, Aaron.” Angelica said through giggles. 

“How does he know where I work!?” he growled, setting the note down and taking out the bottle of wine. It  _ was  _ very respectable.

“How do you think?”

“. _...HAMILTON! _ ”

Aaron flew out of his office, the bottle still clutched in his hand. As he marched down the halls towards Alexander’s own office, his coworkers took one look at his glare and took cover. He threw open Alexander’s door, standing in the threshold like a horseman of the apocalypse.

“Hamilton!”

Alexander looked up from where he sat at his desk, looking surprised at both Aaron standing in his doorway, as well as the at the anger in his voice.

“Morning, Aaron.” his eyes wandered to the wine bottle in his hand and he smirked, “Have my office antics finally led you to the drink?”

Burr didn’t want to hear any of Hamilton’s quips. He descended on the man in one step and Alexander leapt from his chair, using it as a barricade, his eyes wide.

“You were the one who told him where I  _ lived! _ ” it wasn’t a question. 

Understanding bloomed in Hamilton’s eyes and he looked down again at the bottle of wine in Aaron’s hand. He laughed.

“You should be thanking me, that’s a damn good year.”

“What right do you have to be meddling in my life!?” Aaron was fuming. How dare he make light of this.

Alex’s eyes became dark and the smile slipped off his face. He took a step forward, shoving the chair out of the way, glaring at Aaron with eyes he usually reserved only for Reynolds or Lee.

“When it has to do with my best friend being tossed aside by the soulmate he’s been searching his entire life for, it absolutely becomes my right!”

“I haven’t tossed him aside-”

“Save it, Burr.  _ God _ , I thought you were more considerate than this! But the way you’ve been treating him-”

“You don’t know anything about me, Hamilton.” Aaron hissed, his face suddenly very close to Alexander’s own. It was commendable that Alex was standing his ground, even under the livid gaze of Aaron Burr, “And you’d do well to remember that.”

“Why are you being like this?” Alexander didn’t look upset anymore, his eyes held more concern, which Aaron hated even more, “What’s wrong with him?”

“Nothing! There’s nothing wrong with him, I just-”

“Then why won’t you give him a chance!?”

“Because! We just...wouldn’t work well together.”

Hamilton snickered, looking at the large mark around Burr’s eye.

“You’re soulmates.” he pointed out, “The  _ universe  _ has decided you’d work well together.”

“Well the universe can suck my-”

“I think Laf would prefer to-”

“Gentlemen!”

Both men turned and immediately stood back as George Washington stepped inside the office. He took one look at the two of them, the wine clutched in Burr’s hand, and rolled his eyes.

“Hamilton, Burr,” he said, ‘I’m sure you both have a lot of work to do.”

“Yessir.” the two men spoke together and Aaron crossed the office again to leave. Washington placed a hand on his shoulder.

“I’d prefer if you didn’t drink this early in the morning, Mr. Burr.” he spared Hamilton a look, “Though I would understand your motives.”

Alexander balked and glared at their boss, while Aaron only smirked, stepping past the man and walking back down the hallway. He looked down at the wine bottle and cursed silently. Hamilton was right, it  _ was  _ a good year.

* * *

 

_ Aaron, _

_ Alexandre told me you did not like the wine. I hope this is more to your taste. _

_ Kisses _

_ ~Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier _ **_♥_ **

“Does he have to sign his name fully like that every time!?” Aaron cried, staring at another notes which sat on his desk.

He held up the intricately carved music box, opening it. It was gorgeous, polished wood with a small golden handle on it’s side. In it was a little silver piano, and when Aaron turned the handle, a soft melody floated from it. He could even see the little keys moving on the miniature instrument. 

It was amazing.

“Holy shit, now you have to go on a date with him.” Lee said over his shoulder, staring in awe at the small box.

“Lee! Get out!”

“I’m just saying, man-” 

“Out!”

And so it continued. Day after day, Aaron would find small gifts on his desk, sometimes extravagant, sometimes simply a small cake or chocolates. One day, to Aaron’s utter horror, the french nuisance even came by the office.

“Hey, Aaron!” Angelica peeked into the room, and Burr tore his eyes away from his computer, “You’ve got a visitor.”

“Wha-”

“Chéri!!!”

Burr groaned audibly, slamming his head down on the desk. Lafayette didn’t seem to notice, sashaying into the room with a large paper bag in his hand.

“I just came by to give you a lunch, Alexandre told me you do not eat during the day.”

Of course.  _ Hamilton _ .

“Get out.” Aaron muttered into the wood of his desk and he heard Lafayette tut gently.

“If we are going to be married-”

Aaron’s head snapped up, glaring furiously and cursing the blush which crept up his cheeks.

“Be careful how you proceed, good man.” Aaron hissed as his eyes shifted to the door of his office, hoping no one was there to hear their conversation, “Presumptuous indeed, good man.”

“You are very good at that, chér. My heart trembles for you.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.” Gil laughed, but the slight hurt in his voice did not go unmissed.

Aaron’s hands fidgeted under his desk and he was unsure of what to do. His shoulders slumped slightly and he looked at Lafayette, who stood quite the same, not entirely sure what to do now. So Aaron bit his lip.

“What is it?” he nodded to the bag in Laf’s hand. 

Gil lit up like the fourth of july and Aaron tried to wave away the blooming in his chest. It was probably just...hunger, yes he was just hungry. No feelings involved whatsoever. 

Lafayette pulled forward one of the large chairs across from Aaron’s desk and sat down, leaning his head on his hands and explaining how he had bought it from the only good and authentic french restaurant in all of New York. He griped about this, complaining that Americans knew nothing of elegance in cooking. Of course the food was extravagant, most likely expensive, and, Aaron had to admit, delicious.

They shared the lunch, talking quietly, gently about trivial things. Aaron learned that Gil was a French ambassador, that he had two dogs, Albert and Von Steuban (which he had named after one his boss at work) and that he was considering buying a motorcycle.

Gil didn’t learn all too much about Aaron, save for that his friend Theodosia had invited him to her office party along with her wife Betsey, but he was probably going to decline.

“Whatever for?” he asked. It sounded like a lovely idea.

“I may be very good at being a third wheel, but it does get draining at times.”

“I could come with you.”

Aaron paused. They hadn’t mentioned anything like that the entire meal, and it had been going... _ well _ . Nice even. He put his fork down and shuffled awkwardly in his chair.

“This was nice, but I think I should be getting back to work.”

Gil’s face fell immediately and he stood up from his chair, stumbling slightly. 

“Wait, I’m sorry. Please don’t- I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s alright, I just,” Aaron looked down at his hands, “I have so much work to do.”

They were silent for a moment, but then Lafayette nodded slowly, taking a step away from the desk. 

“Alright. Perhaps though, we might do this again?”

“... _ perhaps _ .” Aaron said, trepidation in his tone, but it was enough to make Lafayette smile again.

“Until then, Aaron.” he rested his hand for a moment on Aaron’s own and he felt the familiar spark when their skin touched.

“Yeah.” Aaron was breathless as he watched Gil strut out of the office. He wanted desperately to call out to him, tell him to wait for him.

But the familiar fear crept back into his mind, the memories of other people's not so loving contact with his skin. So he stayed sitting, resting his head in his hands. After a few minutes, Alexander poked his head inside.

“Hey Burr, I need you to look over these-  _ oh _ .” he came up behind Aaron and gently put a hand on his shoulder, “You okay, buddy?”

Aaron made a noncommittal groan and Alexander laughed softly. Angelica peeked in not a moment later, the grin still bright on her face.

“Aaron! Where the hell did you find him? He’s perfect!”

“ _ Hnnnnnngh _ .”

* * *

 

Aaron was going to lose it soon. He was literally going to go insane. He had been kept up the previous night due to a loud singing outside his apartment. This, of course, was followed by a phone call from Jefferson.

“Aaron, I swear to God if you don’t shut your boy up this minute I will break into your apartment, kill you, then go outside and kill him.”

“He’s not  _ my boy _ .” Aaron grumbled into the phone, but he was already up, and throwing on his pants.

“Yeah, I don’t give a damn! Shut him up!”

Aaron had gone to the window, only to see Lafayette standing on the sidewalk with a small boombox on his shoulders. He was grinning up at Aaron’s window as an awful love song played.

“Go home, Gilbert! It’s 3:00 in the morning!”

“Ah, but my love could not be contained. I had to see you again.”

“Did you have to bring a boombox!?”

“I needed to set the mood.”

Aaron then bustled out of his apartment, down the stairs and threw himself outside, ignoring Gil’s elated expression, and going straight for the stereo. He promptly smashed it on the pavement.

He promised to buy Lafayette a new one.

Now, after a long day of listening to Hamilton complain and argue, while Angelica made fun of him for his “man troubles,” he was absolutely ready to go home. He adjusted his grip on his briefcase and exited the office building, planning on getting some much needed sleep.

“Good afternoon, chéri.”

Aaron froze at the sound of the voice, and looked up. There, standing in front of the office building, leaning against a very expensive looking car, was Lafayette. He was dressed stunningly, a pastel blue cardigan hanging from his shoulders, sunglasses on, looking incredibly...incredibly…

“Like an ass.” Aaron muttered under his breath, tightening his grip on his briefcase and turning to walk down the street. 

The smug smile fell from Lafayette’s face as he watched him, and he stumbled after him. 

“Aaron, don’t be this way! Let me drive you home!”

“Why can’t you leave me alone!?” he hissed, rounding on the frenchman, “Isn’t enough that you know where I live, now you have to come to my work and make everyone think that we’re...we’re-”

“Soulmates?” Aaron turned around again but Lafayette caught his sleeve gently, “Please Aaron, I’m just trying to be nice.”

“I am very capable of walking myself home.” Burr tried to reason, tugging his sleeve away.

“It is a long walk.”

“Well, it’s a nice day.”

Lafayette groaned in frustration, reaching out and taking one of Aaron’s hands in his gently. Burr...didn’t exactly know what to do, as Gil swung their arms together, looking down at Aaron through his lashes.

“Aaron, I came all this way.”

It almost worked. Aaron was frozen in place by Lafayette’s twinkling eyes and soft lips turned down into a pout. The way his fingers moved to intertwine with Aaron’s own. They were soulmates, it was biology. Of course he’d be attracted to this young god, this deity with the physique of David, this-

“Ohhhh no, no way!” Aaron pulled his hand away, straightening his spine and pretending like he hadn’t just been thinking about what was underneath Lafayette’s shirt. 

“Aaron!” Gil stomped his foot like a child. He had thought he’d had him, what with the smaller man’s eyes glazing over as he looked at Laf’s lips. Of course he had seen it.

“Go home, Lafayette. I’m not letting you drive me home. And nothing short of a thunderstorm could make me-”

**_CRACK~BOOM_ **

* * *

 

Lafayette’s smile was entirely too wide as he drove down the street, rain pounding on the hood of the car. Aaron glared out the window, his lips pressed into a thin line. Why did the universe hate him so much!? He had been fine living just by himself without ever knowing who his soulmate was. 

Now look where his life was. Trapped in a car with a man he wanted nothing to do with in the first place. He let out a deep sigh, shutting his eyes. 

“Did you have a good day at work?” Lafayette asked. 

Stubbornly, Aaron folded his arms, continuing to ignore the man beside him, staring out the window. He heard him sigh as well.

“Is it so bad that I want to know you, Aaron?” the way he said Burr’s name sent shivers down his spine ,  “I do not have...ulterior motives as you say. I may not like that you will not accept me, but I respect that you are not ready. I still want to know you though.”

Aaron’s fingers tapped against his arm anxiously. 

“Why haven’t you given up yet!?” he asked suddenly. “No, shit, I didn’t mean...I mean why...why are you still trying at all!?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Lafayette shot back, as though the mere thought had never crossed his mind. 

“Because! I mean, I would have thought you’d get tired of it eventually.”

“You mean, you had  _ hoped  _ I would tire of it.” Gil sent him a look, “You will find, Aaron, that I do not tire easily. ”

Burr stayed quiet, watching the rain hit the windshield. Lafayette reached over and turned the knob on the radio. He gasped with joy as some godawful pop song came on and turned it up. Aaron snorted, sinking in his seat as the man began to sing.

“Release me from this hell!” he laughed, though Gil’s voice was actually not that bad. It was smooth, and soft, something Aaron had not been expecting. 

Finally they pulled up in front of Aaron’s apartment and Lafayette turned the music off, albeit a tad reluctantly. Unbuckling his seatbelt, Burr turned to the man and smiled.

“Thank you, Gil, for the ride home.”

“You are very welcome, chér. Any time you need me, just call.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” Gilbert’s face fell, “I don’t have your number.”

“OH!” he reached out and snatched Aaron’s hand, pulling a pen from in his coat. Aaron couldn’t hold back his giggles as the pen tickled his palm, but when Laf took it away, there was his number, in blue ink on his hand. “Call me.”

“I won’t!” Burr called back, but the laughter in his voice made Gil smile.

Aaron watched the car drive down the street and sighed. He felt...empty now. Like the other half of him was gone, driving down the road in an expensive car. And it was. Running a hand over his face, he turned and went into the building, hoping quietly to himself that it wouldn’t be too long until their next meeting. 

Maybe if they started small like this.  _ Maybe... _

* * *

 

Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier was not a patient person by nature. He was used to getting what he wanted when he wanted it. None of this careful stepping business. Though, he knew that wouldn’t fly with Aaron and he didn’t want to erase any progress he’d made with the man.

But still, he was getting frustrated. They’d known each other for a little under a month and he barely knew anything about the man. Which was understandably annoying as Lafayette had practically shared his entire life with him.

“What am I going to do with him, Albert?” he asked the pitbull morosely. Albert only barked unhelpfully and rubbed his face on Laf’s leg. 

The timer  _ dinged  _ and Gil leapt from the couch. He was bringing Aaron a batch of lemon squares he hoped they could share together, partly because he wanted to be in Aaron’s presence again, and partly because he really  _ was  _ craving lemon squares.

“Steuban!” he called and a little pug waddled out of the bedroom, “You’re in charge.”

He made it to Aaron’s without a problem and when he found himself knocking on the door, there was no answer. He tried again, listening closely to see if Burr was just being difficult, but inside sounded quiet as well. 

“Oh, Aaron’s out today.” came a small voice and Lafayette turned around.

A short man was standing outside of Jefferson’s apartment, a blue bathrobe on as he flipped through envelopes of mail. Laf noticed a signature running just over his temple, smaller than Aaron’s but just as distinct. 

“Out? But it is a saturday.”

The man shrugged and went back into his own apartment. He emerged again a moment later, throwing a key at Gilbert.

“Just shove it under the door when you’re done.” and he disappeared back through the door. 

As Lafayette unlocked Aaron’s door, he wondered if that was the James Madison whose name was written behind Jefferson’s ear. He’d opened the door enough times for Laf to actually read the name , and if it was…

_ What right did he have to call Aaron’s mark an eyesore!? Jefferson’s name was literally on the man’s forehead! _

He laughed to himself as he entered, not entirely closing the door, as he would be out in a moment. He didn’t want to stay when Aaron wasn’t here, that was just improper. He would leave the lemon squares on the counter...maybe take one for himself. But before he could sneak back out, he heard someone enter through the open door.

Thinking it was Aaron, he raced from the kitchen, a grin on his face. 

It wasn’t Aaron.

* * *

 

Theodosia Bartow screamed at the sight of the strange man in her friend’s apartment, dropping the bags of food to the floor. His eyes were wide and he looked confused.

“Who are you!?” She shrieked, immediately searching through her purse for her small bottle of hairspray. It stung the eyes like a bitch, she’d tell ya. The man was silent, staring from her to the groceries on the floor.

“I said who are you!?” she yelled again

“I am Gilbert du Motier, who are you?”

The name sounded familiar to Theo and she lowered her purse, her eyes still watching him suspiciously

“I’m Theodosia Bartow. What are you doing in Aaron’s apartment?”

“Does a man need an excuse to visit his soulmate?” he asked, a smile curving up his lips. She gasped excitedly.  

“Oh my God! You’re him! You’re- you’re him!!!”

“I...suppose?” Lafayette chuckled and he took this as his cue to move, crossing the room towards Theo and holding out his hand, “It is good to meet you, Ms. Bartow.”

“Wow, is it good to meet you too!” she shook his hand enthusiastically. 

“May I ask? What are  _ you  _ doing here?”

“Oh,” Theo blushed in embarrassment, picking the bags of groceries up off the ground, “I was just bringing some food for Aaron.”

Lafayette stepped forward, confusion written on his face as he looked in the bags. They were just your regular, everyday groceries, fruits, vegetables, meats and the like. 

“Cannot Aaron buy his own groceries?”

Theodosia shuffled awkwardly, “He does,” she assured, “just...sometimes he can’t. He doesn’t always like leaving the apartment.”

That only peaked Laf’s interest and he decided to ask her what he had been trying to get out of Burr.

“Why is he like this?” he turned to her, desperation in his voice, “Why does he not like me? Why does he throw me out always? Why is he so closed off?”

She bristled under the flood of questions.

“I-I can’t answer that.” her own voice was unsure, “It’s Aaron’s business, his past. It’s not my story to tell, it wouldn’t be fair.”

“It is not fair that I cannot help him because he refuses to speak to me!” Gil growled, his hands tugging at his hair, “I want to help him! I need to help him, but he shuts me out, I know absolutely nothing about him!”

Theodosia was quiet, watching Gil critically. He leaned against the counter and let out a shaky sigh, rubbing at his eyes.

“Do you care about Aaron?” she asked.

“More than anything in this life. I cared about him long before I even knew who he was.”

“Alright.” Theo still sounded unsure, but approached him, “You would never use what I tell you about him to hurt him? God knows he’s had enough of that.”

“I would  _ never _ .”

“Okay,” she sighed, “Alright. I’ll tell you what I know about him.”

And she told him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! ((this chapter got long lols)) I hope you enjoy it, the last two should be up soon as well, I'm almost done them. Remember, I love you all a lot and I always will! ^///^ You all make me so happy!!! I hope you enjoy!


	4. That Would be Enough

Aaron wasn't worried, how could he be? This is exactly what he had wanted. No, he was relieved….

Okay, so maybe he was a bit...concerned.

It had been almost two weeks with no sign from Lafayette, no small gifts on his desk, no visits in the afternoon. He’d tried asking Hamilton about it in a way that wouldn’t make it seem like he cared all that much, but Alex simply shrugged.

“Maybe he finally got tired of you rejecting him and went to find someone else. That’s what you wanted right?”

Yes, it had been; it  _ was _ . He tried to convince himself that this was better than the previous weeks, that sitting in his apartment alone, not being able to look forward to a visit from the tall man the next day, was the best thing that could have happened to him.

Suffice to say, it didn’t work.

Of course, Aaron knew why it wasn’t working, but he refused to admit it to himself. He couldn’t have feelings for the man, it was absurd. Alright, maybe not absurd, they were soulmates after all, but it was really highly unlikely. 

One late night found Aaron pacing the length of his apartment, trying to make sense of the jumble of thoughts and feelings in his head.

“Where the fuck is he, that’s what I want to know!” he shouted to nothing in particular, “What right does he have to come into my life and make me...feel things and then disappear like none of it ever happened! He’s the one who started this, not me! He may as well see it through!”

In that moment, his phone rang, shrill in the silence of his apartment. 

“Hello?” he answered, perhaps a tad hastily, perhaps a tad agitated.

“Aaron sweetheart,” came Jefferson’s concerned yet pompous voice, “we can  _ feel  _ your angst over here.”

“What are you talking about!?” his voice was at a pitch only dogs could probably hear, “There’s no angst, I’m not feeling angst, this is an angst free environment! I am  _ not  _ angsty!”

“Do you want us to come over?” curse Thomas and his ability to make Aaron feel like a child.

“NO!” he paused, and sighed, “No, it’s fine...I’m fine.”

“Aaron-”

“It’s fine Thomas. I’ll try and keep it down.”

He hung up the phone before Jefferson had a chance to answer.

Sitting down heavily on the couch, Aaron rubbed his eyes. He was tired. Tired of the weight he always felt in his chest, the fear and hatred which had been allowed to simmer there for so many years. Everything always felt...lighter when he was with Lafayette; he only realized that now.

But there was nothing for it. If Lafayette decided he wanted nothing more to do with Aaron, Aaron understood. He definitely wasn’t about to push it, not after how he’d so adamantly rebuffed the man’s attempts to know him.

So he went about the next day as normally as he could. When Angelica tried to ask him what was wrong, he simply smiled.

“Nothing’s wrong. Everything’s perfect.”

“Like I haven’t heard that one before, Aaron Burr.” she’d replied.

The problems arose again when he heard a sharp, loud knock on his door that night. He got up off the couch slowly, and ambled over to the door, opening it.

“Alexander?” Aaron asked tiredly, surprised to see the man standing in his doorway, glaring at him.

“Burr.” his voice was clipped and impatient.

“What’s this about?”

“This is about  _ this _ , Burr.” Alex tugged him outside the door and pointed down the hallway.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.”

Sitting against the wall, head between his knees and looking much too small for someone of his size, was Lafayette. Aaron could only stare at the man, confused.

“You have to fix this.” Alexander rounded on Burr again. “I don’t know what you said to him, but... _ fix it! _ ”

“What are you talking about? The last time I saw him was weeks ago and he was fine!” 

At the sound of his voice, Lafayette’s head snapped up, and their eyes locked immediately. The man fumbled to stand, leaning against the wall for support. Aaron sighed. While he didn’t know exactly  _ what  _ to fix, there  _ was  _ something obviously wrong.

His eyes were red and unfocused, dark rings accenting his weary expression. He stumbled forward and Aaron itched to help him, but he was rooted to the spot. When he finally made it to the two men, he didn’t hesitate to throw himself at Aaron, wrapping his arms around the man tightly, clinging to him for dear life.

“I told him not to bring me here.” Gil murmured and Aaron could smell the alcohol on his breath. “I am sorry. ’m sorry.”

Aaron was frozen in the man’s grip, unable to fully understand what was going on or what he was talking about. He looked to Alexander helplessly, getting only a shrug in return. 

“Fix it.” he demanded again, before turning to leave.

“Hamilton!” Aaron yelled, trying to wriggle free from Lafayette, “You can’t just leave him  _ here! _ ”

“This is  _ your  _ problem.” he hissed, “Don’t make it any worse.”

He turned on his heel, leaving the two men behind. Aaron tried to untangle himself from the frenchman’s arms, but Lafayette had a firm grip on him.

“Alexander!"

“Bring him home once you’ve figured out your baggage, Burr.”

“Hamilton!” but the man was already hidden behind the elevator doors.

Aaron let out a sigh and, for a moment, rested his head wearily on Lafayette’s chest. He was tired.

Eventually he extracted himself from Gilbert and guided him slowly, and carefully into the apartment. The man kept muttering apologies and Aaron had to shush him gently, so that he wouldn’t wake up Jefferson or Madison, giving them another reason to hate him.

“Come on, the couch is just over here. I’ll make you some tea.”

He deposited Lafayette on the sofa, making sure the man was sitting properly , before he went to the kitchen to find something that would sober him up. As the kettle whistled, Aaron spared him a glance over his shoulder.

He hadn’t seen Gil for two weeks and honestly, this was not how he had been expecting to meet up with him again. The frenchman looked as though someone had just thrown his puppy down a well, his lips set in a pout and his eyes glistening. It looked like he was going to break out in tears any moment. 

“I should not be here.” he heard him whisper to himself. Burr sighed, taking the mugs of tea in his hands and walking over to where he sat. He set them down on the table and took a seat on the far side of the couch.

“Nonsense. Something has obviously upset you and I don’t think Hamilton would have brought you here if he didn’t think I could help. So…?”

Lafayette stayed silent, but Aaron noticed how he looked away from him, not meeting his eyes. He shuffled closer, starting to get worried.

“Gilbert. Whatever has happened between us, you can tell me. I’d like to help.”

“I know about what happened to you.” Gil admitted suddenly, “When you were a child. What happened to you because of my mark.”

Aaron froze, his breath catching in his throat and his chest tightening. His mind went blank with panic and dread. He knew, God he knew! How!? What…? Aaron had been so careful. No one was supposed to know.

“H-how-?”

“You’re friend, she told me-”

“Theodosia.” Aaron hissed, his fists clenching slightly, “That meddling-” He took a breath, rubbing at his temples. 

“You weren’t supposed to know.” he said finally, turning to face his soulmate who sat on his couch. 

“No, no, it is good that I know now,” Gil said quickly, staring at him with wide eyes, “I...I understand why you hate me so.”

“I don’t _hate_ you. I could never _hate_ you.” a small smile played on Aaron’s lips. “We’re soulmates, we have to like each other, it’s in our biology or something.”

Lafayette turned to him, and Aaron’s shoulders sagged. He looked so sad. Guilt curled in Aaron’s stomach; the frenchman shouldn’t have had to know about any of that. Gil’s hand came up, gently settling on Aaron’s cheek.

“I did not know how much harm I had caused you.”

That snapped Aaron right out of his thoughts. 

“It wasn’t your fault, you couldn’t-” he paused, then continued, “-you couldn’t have known. It’s not your fault. And I was an idiot to blame you. You couldn’t have known.”

His voice was quiet now,  as he himself began to realize. His arms wrapped around himself and he lowered his head, trying to sift through the thoughts swirling through his mind. He felt... _ guilt _ at harbouring such a hatred for a person he hadn’t even known, for most of his life. 

Of  _ course  _ it hadn’t been Gil’s fault, how could it have been. He had had no idea! He hadn’t asked for this, neither of them had. 

“I’m such an ass.” Aaron muttered as he hid his face in his hands.

He felt the sofa shift but didn’t look up. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Lafayette, knowing the hurt he had caused. God, the things he’d said. He’d been awful.

He blinked suddenly when a pair of hands took him by the shoulders, pulling him close to a sturdy chest. Lafayette’s soft voice filled the apartment, singing what sounded like something in french, although Aaron couldn’t quite tell. Laf was still very drunk and the words sort of jumbled together. 

But as he drew Aaron to him, the smaller man felt his chest rumble with each word, and smiled slightly.

“What are you doing?” he asked, his voice tired, but holding laughter.

“You are hurting,” Lafayette explained, as though it were obvious, “so I am singing. When I was hurt, my mother would sing to me and hold me close, and everything would be alright.”

“I’m not hurting. I...stopped hurting a long time ago.”

“That is not good,” he wrapped his arms tighter around Aaron, and Aaron let him,  “To be hurt feels awful, but you must accept that the hurt is there, to be able to move on from it.”

Aaron snorted softly.

“Is that your professional opinion.”

“Yes.”

They stayed like that for a while, and Aaron felt each breath Lafayette took. He felt...safe, with the man’s arms around him, holding him gently. A voice in the back of his mind nagged at him.

_ ‘I could get used to this.’ _ it said, and Aaron huffed out a small laugh.

He still smelled the alcohol on the other’s breath, and Aaron knew that this probably wasn’t the best position to be in, not when Lafayette wasn’t fully cognizant. He began to untangle himself from Lafayette’s grip, ignoring the man’s whining and tugging, finally standing in front of him.

Gil was still splayed out on the couch, his eyes drooping and Aaron shook his head.

“C’mon Gil, you’re drunk, you need to sleep it off.” 

He took the man’s hands and started to haul him up, though Gil wasn’t making it very easy. He was considerably bigger than Aaron, and was all but asleep now. Aaron nearly fell over when he finally got Lafayette standing. What a mess that would have been. 

The taller man leaned all his weight onto Aaron, who was now practically dragging him towards the bedroom. He couldn’t have just left him on the couch, as cold as Aaron pretended to be, he did have a heart. 

When they finally reached the room, he laid Lafayette as gently as he could onto the bed, removing the man’s shoes and setting them neatly on the floor. Somehow he got the covers over him, after much struggling, and was about to leave when a hand shot out from the bed and gripped the back of his shirt.

“Where are you going?” Gil muttered, not even opening his eyes, and attempting to drag Aaron back towards the bed.

“Ohhh no, I’ll be on the couch if you need me.” he tried to pull away, but Lafayette wasn’t relenting.

“I need you!” he wailed, sounding very close to tears, and Aaron began to panic.

“Alright, alright.” he moved hesitantly towards the bed, sitting on the edge of it, and sending Lafayette anxious looks. 

He seemed to calm down but continued to pull until Aaron sighed, finally lying down fully beside the man. He stiffened when one hand curled around his waist, unsure of what Lafayette would do. But the soft snore a moment later assured him nothing was going to happen.

He allowed himself a soft smile, lying awake, staring at the ceiling of his room, as he had many times before. This time was different though, and not just because of the warm body next to his (which was crowding him. The bed wasn’t altogether very large.) He just... _ felt _ different. 

Perhaps it was because Gil knew. Knew about what had happened to him, and understood the reasoning behind Aaron’s reluctance concerning their relationship. And while he hadn’t exactly handled it as a fully functioning, responsible adult might have, Aaron was thankful that Lafayette had acknowledged it.

But what now?

Now that Lafayette knew, would he continue to keep his distance from Aaron? The past weeks, Aaron would admit, had been awful. He’d missed the man’s constant presence, how he made him feel. Burr cursed his emotions silently. This wasn’t what was supposed to have happened. 

He turned, looking at the tall man who had his arms wrapped securely around his waist, seemingly fast asleep. His hand reached over and pulled at one of the curls which had come loose from Gil’s ponytail.

“You really messed everything up for me, you know that?” he said. He didn’t expect an answer and he didn’t receive one. Lafayette only continued to snore softly, so Aaron continued.

“I had everything figured out. I was never going to meet you and my life would just be...constant, ya know? I’d just run along with it, avoiding every obstacle I would come across. And then you just had to show up, right when my life looked like it was heading in the right direction.”

Lafayette shifted, curling closer to him and Burr sighed.

“I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t think it would ever actually happen, that I would meet you. I guess no one really expects it, but I  _ really  _ wasn’t expecting it. The only thing I had ever known about you was that your mark made my life a living hell. I always pictured you as some sort of monster, who did it on purpose. I learned to hate you. So imagine my surprise when you showed up and you were...well  _ you _ .”

“You weren’t a monster. God, you’re a  _ saint _ . I don’t know. I guess that just made me even more mad. I spent years of my life hating you, and then I see you and it’s like it’s all been such a huge waste. I felt that, to keep my pride, I needed to keep hating you. I didn’t even take into account how you were feeling. And I’m....I’m sorry.”

The room was quiet again as Aaron stared up at the ceiling. Gil had gone silent as well, and Aaron didn’t notice how he stared up at him, his eyes wide, tears threatening to spill over. He shuffled closer, tugging Aaron tighter to him, hiding his face in his side.

“It is alright, Aaron Burr. I forgive you.” he whispered.

He could feel Aaron stiffen in his arms, but he didn’t move, and he didn’t let go. He would never let go, never again. For every beating, every bruise Aaron had received as a child, he would kiss, and caress, and hold as tightly as he could.

He would erase every bit of hurt that his soulmate still felt, and make sure he knew that he was loved. 

“You probably won’t remember any of this in the morning, you know?” Aaron said, his hand continuing to run through Gil’s hair. 

He only hummed, “I know it  _ now  _ though.” 

That would have to be enough.

* * *

 

When Aaron woke up the next morning, it was to a muscular chest and tight arms curled around him. He turned his face slightly, ignoring blush in his cheeks, and looked up at the man he was lying beside.

Gilbert looked calm, relaxed as he slept. His breathing was steady and Aaron watched, only for a moment, the calm rise and fall of his chest. He much prefered this to the sad, drunken state he’d found the man in last night. 

He much prefered this  _ in general. _

So was this it? After the last two weeks, he knew he didn’t want Lafayette out of his life, but was he going to admit to himself finally that maybe he wanted something... _ more _ with the man?

Beside him, Lafayette began to stirred, burying his face in the crook of Aaron’s neck, nosing it gently. Aaron bit his lip to keep from giggling. Then he felt the man freeze.

“ _ Quelle- _ ”

Aaron heard the man inhale sharply and before he knew it, he was being pushed away and Gil was scrambling out of the bed. 

“Gil-?”

“AARON!” the man shouted, “Merde, what have I done!? Did we- did we do anything!? I told Alexandre not to bring me-”

“Lafayette, it’s alright.” Aaron moved off the bed as well, lifting his hands placatingly. “Nothing happened.”

“How can you say that!?” he demanded, “We...we were in bed together! Merde, I probably-”

“You didn’t do  _ anything _ , Lafayette.” Aaron’s voice was stern. He did not want this man having an unneeded panic attack in his bedroom, “I chose to stay. Now, how about I make you some coffee and we can discuss this.  _ Calmly _ .”

Lafayette’s lips were set in a tight, thin line, and he looked like he was going to be sick, but he followed Aaron out of the room obediently. 

When it was done, Aaron pushed the cup of coffee in front of Lafayette. The frenchman was uncharacteristically silent, staring down at his hands, the floor, anywhere but at Aaron. 

“It’s alright, you know.” Burr smiled a little, “I told you, nothing happened last night. Honestly, I think you were too drunk to even see straight.”

But Lafayette didn’t smile back, only looked appalled for a moment before scowling at the mug of coffee in front of him. Aaron fingers tapped anxiously on the table, not exactly comfortable with the combination of Gilbert and silence. It just...didn’t seem like him. 

“I told Alexandre not to bring me here last night.” he said finally, well, rather he muttered it, still not looking at Aaron. “I don’t wish to bother you anymore.”

“You weren’t bothering me, Gil.” Aaron shook his head, “I...I  _ missed  _ you, I was actually glad to see you last night, even though you were-”

“A pathetic excuse for a human being?”

Now he was just being difficult.

“No. Understandably upset.” Gil opened his mouth to speak but Aaron held up a hand to silence him, “It wasn’t fair that you had to hear that from  _ Theodosia  _ of all people. I should have explained it to you myself, everything would have been a lot easier. We may have been able to figure everything out a lot sooner.”

“It is not your fault!” Lafayette pressed, and Aaron shook his head. 

“It  _ is  _ my fault for not explaining it. You were right the first time. This...none of this was just about me. It did concern your life as well. I was being incredibly selfish.”

“So what now?” Lafayette asked, fiddling with his mug.

“I think, in light of recent events, it wouldn’t be a bad idea for us to take a break. A few days just to...think, and get ourselves right.”

Aaron didn’t miss how Gil’s face fell. It was only a little, but the slight droop in his shoulders said enough.

“Though,” he added, looking down at his own coffee coyly, “I also wouldn’t be averse to you coming by on friday night, granted you bring pizza of course.”

The frenchman’s eyes lit up as Aaron knew they would and his smile was bright. 

“Oui!” he cried, “Yes, yes I...I will! I’ll bring pizza! I will bring whatever you want!”

“Well alright then.” Aaron let himself smile as well, “Would you like to stay? I don’t mind.”

Lafayette stood up from the table and shook his head a little.

“Non, I should go back to my own apartment. I will call Alexandre, he brought me here, he can bring me home.”

“Okay.” Aaron stood as well, stepping up to Lafayette and beckoning to him.

Gil bent down, confused for a moment, before Aaron placed a quick, chaste kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” he asked, staring at Aaron in awe. A light blush had crawled up his face and Aaron smirked.

“For proving me wrong.”

* * *

 

Back at his apartment, Lafayette hummed contentedly. His memories of the previous night were still fuzzy, but they were coming into focus. Words spoken by Aaron jumbled around in his head, not quite clear, but there. He had told him something, something important, but he couldn’t remember.

Von Steuban and Albert peeked out of the bedroom and exited slowly, wary of whether Lafayette was still sad as he had been the previous weeks. He smiled, beckoning to them. They barked and panted happily, racing over to him and jumping at his knees. 

He thought back to what Aaron had said this morning. If they were going to have a relationship, Lafayette knew that they had to do it together. They had to communicate, and this? This was the start, or at least, this was  _ a  _ start.

He didn’t pretend to know the challenges Aaron faced, but he wasn’t afraid. He knew who he loved. And if he could grant him peace of mind.

That would be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo!!!! All that's left is the epilogue which will also be out soon! I may do small one shots attached to this story as well later on, but I hope you've liked this, even if it's a little short! <3


	5. Take your Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WAIT! Okay so to avoid confusion,   
> 1.) THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER I WILL BE DOING A FEW MORE, I LIED LAST TIME!  
> 2.) i changed Von Steuban's role ((not the dog the actual guy)) to Laf's boss at the embassy. Alright now keep going!

Aaron hummed in approval, looking at himself in the small mirror in his bedroom. He wore a simple green sweater and jeans, looking casual but well put together. He swept his hands down his sides, swiping at any wrinkles.

He’d be lying if he were to say he wasn’t nervous. In most of his previous relationships, if he could even call them relationships, he’d either been politely albeit condescendingly told he made them uncomfortable, or simply been stood up. 

Apparently, people didn’t like someone else’s name staring them in the face during sex. If a soulmark was somewhere hidden, it was fine, no one mentioned it. But Aaron’s wasn’t exactly discrete.

He was excited for tonight, though. Eager to have just a casual evening with Gilbert. He wanted to talk, relax, he wanted to know who Lafayette was behind all the extravagance. He much prefered it to whatever Lafayette would have planned. 

Smiling slightly, he let out a sigh. Yes, he was actually looking forward to spending time with the man.

**_KNOCK KNOCK_ **

Aaron’s head snapped up at the sound of the knock at his door, and his smile widened. He flew from the bedroom, taking a deep breath before pulling open the door.

“Aaron!” 

The shorter man blinked in surprise, taking in Gil’s finely suited form, flowers and champagne held precariously in one hand and the pizza in the other. He wore a winning smile and Aaron suddenly felt incredibly underdressed.

“Gil,” he stuttered, “you look...wonderful, I mean, we’re just having pizza, you didn’t need to get so dressed up.”

“Ah, but I wanted to, cher.” he replied, standing in the doorway, until Aaron stepped aside to let him in.

Aaron watched him as he swept inside, placing the bottle and the food on the countertop, and whirling around to face him again. He still stood in the doorway, looking baffled. Lafayette held out the bouquet to him with a small bow.

“For you, darling.”

Aaron accepted the flowers slowly, staring down at them as he bit his lip. Who the hell came to someone’s apartment to have pizza in a suit with champagne!?

“Thanks, Gil.” he said, and closed the door slowly. 

He went to the cupboard, bringing down a tall vase and filling it with water. As he waited, he turned back around to Lafayette. 

“How...er, how was work?”

Gil waved a dismissive hand and opened the pizza, coming up beside Aaron to get plates out of the top cupboard. Aaron fought back a blush as their sides brushed together.

“It is boring,” he complained, “too much paperwork.”

“You should hire Hamilton over there,” Aaron snorted, beginning to cut the stems of the flowers, “he’d be in Heaven.”

“I’d much rather have  _ you  _ there, cher.”

His mouth went dry and he coughed awkwardly, placing the flowers in the vase and carrying it to the table. 

“You are looking well,” Gil said, placing the plates on the small table in the living room and sitting on the couch.

Aaron fiddled with the petals of the flowers, not looking at him, but nodded. God, why was this so awkward, it wasn’t supposed to be. They were supposed to talk, this was supposed to be comfortable. But when Aaron looked over at Lafayette in his suit, with the flowers and champagne, he just felt how he always felt.

Stupid.

Inadequate.

He didn’t want to feel that way with his  _ soulmate  _ of all people. So he bit his lip and walked over to the couch, sitting next to Gil. And he  _ tried _ .

“Don’t let my clear skin and calm demeanor fool you,” he quipped through a strained smile, “working with Hamilton is enough to send anyone over the edge.”

Lafayette barked out a laugh, and he didn’t notice how Aaron flinched.

“Our petit lion can be a handful, can’t he.” his grin lowered into a small happy smile, “But he is good, and does his best.”

“You’ve known him a long time?” Aaron asked, suddenly very interested.

“Yes. He was without family for the longest time, and when he came to study abroad in France, our family took him in.”

“I didn’t know that.” 

“Alexandre does not open his heart much.” Lafayette looked at Aaron, “He is much like you that way.”

Aaron gasped playfully, as he’d seen Gil do many times before. “How dare you compare me to him! I do not run myself ragged into the ground with work.”

“No,” Lafayette chuckled, and there was a knowing twinkle in his eye, “But you worry.”

Aaron froze.

“Do not think I don’t notice, Aaron. You are a worrier, and you must learn to let things go.”

Easy for him to say. But after a moment, Aaron’s smile returned and he patted his knees.

“Well, I’m famished. Shall we?”

They ate and spoke politely about things that didn’t matter, with Aaron constantly steering the topic away from himself, pushing for Lafayette to speak. Sure, he had wanted to talk before, but now?

He honestly had no idea what to do. This entire  _ date thing  _ sounded far better in theory. And then Lafayette had to make things worse. He placed his plate on the table and stood up, digging in his pocket for something.

Gilbert held up his phone with a sly smile and Aaron tilted his head. What could the man be thinking this time? He went up to Aaron’s stereo and plugged it in, crouching for a moment, before soft music began to echo through the apartment. 

Putting down his glass, Aaron sat back, a feeling of unease taking over him. Lafayette sauntered over to him, his hips swaying gently to the music as he reached a hand out to Aaron. Burr’s heart beat wildly in his chest and, not wanting to ruin Gil’s mood, reached up slowly to take the man’s hand.

He was then pulled up, the dim lights casting their shadows across the room. Lafayette took the lead, moving his hand to Aaron’s waist, while the other one held his hand. Aaron almost broke away at the feeling of fingers curling around his skin like that, but plastered on a smile instead.

This relationship wasn’t just about him. 

So he followed Gil’s movements, albeit rigidly. Not because he didn’t know how to dance, but because he didn’t  _ want  _ to. But he laughed off his missteps as clumsiness, rather than his own anxiety, and continued. 

Only when Lafayette pulled him closer, perhaps a bit rougher than he was meaning to, did Aaron completely freeze up, the fake smile falling from his face immediately, only to be replace with one of pure terror. 

“Aaron?” the frenchman’s voice was full of concern.

Like a shot, Aaron pulled out of Lafayette’s arms, standing a bit of a ways from him. He looked appalled, not with Gil, but more with himself. His hand covered his mouth and he was shaking his head slightly.

“Aaron, what is wrong?” he asked, the music still playing softly.

Burr, for his part, moved his hands to his sides and took a deep breath, shutting his eyes tightly. Before Gil could ask again, the smile was back on his face, smaller now though, and he was looking at him.

“Nothing,” he said, but his voice held something in it. Something that wasn’t right. “A sudden chill. Shall we?”

Lafayette wasn’t stupid, and Aaron wasn’t a good liar. So when the smaller man stepped forward to take his hands again, Gil took a step back. He walked over to the stereo and shut off the music. There was silence, and Aaron found himself hating that even more. 

“What is wrong?” he asked again, firmer this time.

“Nothing! Everything’s fine. It’s great, we were having a good time.”

“I think it is obvious that  _ you  _ were not.”

Aaron glared at the floor, crossing his arms like a child.

“You just...surprised me with the dancing, that’s all. It was fine.”

“We will not dance then.” Lafayette stated simply, crossing back across the room to turn up the lights.

Clenching his teeth, Aaron mentally kicked himself. He’d messed up again, why did this always have to happen. Why couldn’t he just enjoy the things Gil did? They were soulmates for God’s sake. Strong hands on his shoulders brought him out of his thoughts, and Lafayette leaned into his view from behind.

“We do not always have to enjoy the same things, cher.”

Aaron didn’t answer, only scowled at the floor boards. 

Wasn’t that what you were supposed to do though, he thought to himself. Weren’t people in relationships supposed to like what their partners liked? But Gil seemed unfazed, only stepped past Aaron, casually undoing his tie and letting it hang around his neck. 

“Come, we will sit.” he said instead, taking Aaron’s hand again, this time leading him to the couch.

Aaron followed and the two sat across from each other, Lafayette smiling, his hands on his knees, leaning forward eagerly. Aaron’s shoulders slumped in agitation. 

“Come now,” the frenchman prodded, “we have spoken all night, and yet I have barely heard a word from you. Tell me about yourself.”

“There isn’t much to tell,” Aaron couldn’t help letting out a small laugh, and when he saw Gil open his mouth, he added, “that you would enjoy hearing.”

“Then tell me what I would not enjoy.”

“You already know all of that.” Aaron’s hands started twitching in his lap.

“I have heard it from your friend,” Gil persisted, “not from you. Isn’t this why you wanted to have dinner tonight? To talk?”

He had wanted to have this dinner to have fun. He had wanted to bond, and laugh, and talk all through the night, and watch movies, like how dates were supposed to go! He had wanted Gil to come over in a cute sweater and jeans, taking off his shoes and to look comfortable.  _ He  _ had wanted to be comfortable.

But he didn’t know how to do any of these things. He didn’t know how to be in a relationship, and when Gil tried to have fun by dancing, he had ruined it.

He wanted to learn how to be comfortable with his soulmate. But he didn’t know how to ask.

“I don’t want to talk about that.” he said and he hated how Lafayette sighed beside him.

“Aaron, cher,” he started, shuffling closer so their knees knocked together, “why did you want to do this?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Why did you invite me over? It does not seem like you are ready-”

Aaron stood up abruptly, but he had nowhere to go so he simply began to pace the length of the apartment, Gil watching him with wide eyes.

“Don’t tell me I’m not ready!” he exclaimed, “I’m fully capable of having a relationship! I know what I’m doing, Gilbert, I don’t need you to tell me I’m not ready!”

He wasn’t ready.

“That is not what I meant.” curse him and his sweet, calming voice. “Just, you seem uncomfortable, I do not want you to be uncomfortable.”

“I’m perfectly comfortable.”

Gil nodded, standing up slowly, and Aaron began to panic. The frenchman passed him, pulling on his shoes and Aaron felt like he was going to cry. 

Lafayette looked down at his soulmate and his heart clenched. He looked distraught, crushed, but Gil knew that something was wrong here, and that it involved him. He wasn’t leaving for good, he knew Aaron was trying, but he didn’t want to push.

He placed a hand under Aaron’s chin, tilting it up and placing a quick kiss on his cheek.

“Aaron, it is alright to wait. I will be here, I do not plan on leaving you. My love, take your time.”

And he was gone, out the door before Aaron could say a word.

Aaron shut the door behind Gil quietly, before leaning against it and closing his eyes. That was...not how he had expected it to go. He slowly sank to the floor, resting his chin on his arms before groaning softly.

What a sorry excuse for a soulmate he was. He couldn’t even enjoy simple things with Gil without ruining it. Did he feel that way too? Did he think Aaron still wasn’t interested? Sure he had acted like it was no big deal, but Aaron couldn’t help but think about all the effort Gil was putting in to make him feel wanted. And he appreciated it, he really did.

But where did that leave him?

He wanted desperately to make this work, he did! He wanted to have something with Lafayette, he wanted this relationship to become something more, something special. 

He wanted to be able to show that he was trying as well, but…

Aaron Burr hadn’t had been in a relationship, a proper relationship, ever. He didn’t know where to start, he didn’t know what Lafayette liked, hell he this had been his first real date!

Stealing himself, Aaron set his jaw. There was one person he could go to to ask about all this. There was no other way, and it made sense, but he was going to regret it. He knew that much.

* * *

 

The next day at work, Aaron tapped his foot anxiously beneath his desk. He really, really didn’t want to do this. Maybe he could get away with moving to Nepal and becoming a monk. It’d be a better option than this. But he couldn’t. He needed to show Lafayette how much he wanted this whole thing to work.

So he pushed himself out of his chair and left the office, marching down the hall with a purpose, until he came to Hamilton’s door. He raised his fist to knock on it gently, but paused. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea.

He was about to go back, when the door flew open. Hamilton grinned at the sight of him and ushered him in, ignoring Aaron’s protests.

“Burr! I thought I heard you shuffling around out there. I bet you were deciding to go back and hide away in your office. Well, no dice, my friend.”

Hamilton pulled out the chair across from his desk and sat Aaron down, before taking his own seat. He leaned forward, eyes sparkling.

“So...what’s on your mind, Aaron?”

Aaron’s mouth opened and closed like a fish and Alexander’s grin grew. He hadn’t thought this through, he didn’t even know where to start, or how to ask. This was awful. He looked away from Alexander’s expectant eyes.

“Nothing. It’s...nothing.”

“Bullshit!” Hamilton cried, his smile slipping from his face, to be replaced by a frustrated pout, “C’mon Aaron, I’m your best friend, you can tell me anything.”

“You are  _ not  _ my best friend.”

“Oh yeah? Then who is?” 

Aaron made an unintelligible noise, moving his hands in a distinct strangling motion.

“I don’t- there’s not...I don’t have-”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Come on, you wouldn’t have come over here if there wasn’t something you wanted to talk about. You hate my office.”

Aaron really did.

His hands fidgeted in his lap and Alexander waited, uncharacteristically patient, for him to speak. 

“I just- you’ve known Gil for a long time, right?”

He blinked, obviously not expecting that to be what Aaron was going to ask.

“Yeah, we’re practically brothers. I stayed with him and his family in France for a few years. Why? Did he do something stupid? I told him not to do anything stupid.”

“No.” Aaron muttered, “ _ Well _ ...no he didn’t do anything.”

“Then what’s up?” Alexander’s voice was full of concern now, “I thought things were going well for you two. That’s what Laf told me.”

Aaron groaned, rubbing at his eyes in frustration.

“They are, I mean, I guess they are. I don’t really know.” Aaron trailed off, slumping forward and letting his chin rest on the desk.

He didn’t notice the amused and affectionate look Hamilton gave him. The man was well aware of Burr’s lack of social life. He himself had tried flirting with Burr once, the first time they’d met, before he got to know him. And like all others, he had been turned off by the large, possessive signature around his eye.

Alex had stuck around though, finding Aaron wonderfully intelligent, and in desperate need of some sort of bad influence. He’d immediately taken it upon himself to become that bad influence, and he’d stuck to the young man ever since.

“So what is it?” he leaned down to Aaron’s eye level.

“He’s very gracious.” was all Aaron could come up with and Alexander squinted at him in confusion, “He does a lot of...things for me. Big things.”

Alex broke out into laughter and Aaron scowled.

“Laf’s a show-off, yeah. What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing! I just don’t  _ know  _ how to do that! I don’t know how to show... _ anything! _ It’s like...he puts in so much effort to make this all work, and I want to make this work too, but I don’t know how to-”

Aaron gestured wildly, sputtering and unsure how to explain himself. Alexander was staring at him in wonder, and Aaron slammed his head down on the desk. Alex reached over and patted him gently on the shoulder.

“You know you don’t have to do exactly what Laf does, right?” he said, “You can find your own way of showing you care.”

“No,” Aaron shook his head, “I need to do something big like that. For weeks, he came by the office to bring me things! How can I compete with that!?”

“Aaron,” Hamilton let out a huff of laughter, “it’s not a competition.”

“Yes it is!”

Alexander sighed. There was no winning when Aaron Burr worked himself up into a panic. So he leaned back in his chair, watching the man carefully.

“Alright, I’ll help you figure out what to do.”

Aaron’s eyes shot up, big and hopeful with a rare smile. Alexander sighed. This man would be the death of him, he knew it.

* * *

 

This was an awful idea. It wasn’t as awful as it  _ could  _ be, but it was awful nonetheless. Alexander had assured him that bringing coffee to Lafayette at work was no big deal, but as Aaron stood in front of the embassy, he found it was a very big deal.

Entering the building, he stared around in awe at the gaudiness of it all. He walked up to the reception desk awkwardly and placed the coffee on the counter.

“I’m, uh, here to see Gilbert du Motier.”

The receptionist looked up, tilting her head slightly, before her eyes, inevitably, landed on the signature around his eye. She squinted, before breaking into a wide smile.

“He’s on the third floor,” she said, pointing across the foyer to the glass elevator, “Just go down the hall and it’s the last office on the right.”

“Thank you.” he mumbled and, taking the coffee again, walked over to the elevator. 

“Hold it!” a voice shouted as the doors began to close, and Aaron stuck his foot in the door, to stop it from closing. 

A tall, older man stepped in beside Aaron, slightly out of breath.

“Merci.” he said, and Aaron blinked up at him. 

He was impeccably dressed,straightening his tie as Aaron stared up at him. He seemed to notice and turned to look at him with a wide grin on his face. He leaned over only slightly, and Aaron fought the urge to roll his eyes.

He was trying to read the signature, of course.

What startled him, was when the man straightened and let out a loud, roaring laugh. Aaron almost jumped at the sudden sound. 

“So you are the boy who has our Marie so wound up!?” the man laughed, his french accent tinting his words.”It is good to meet you, finally.”

He stuck out a hand, and Aaron, albeit hesitantly, shook it. The man had a crushing grip and Aaron cringed slightly.

“I am Freidrich Von Steuban.” he said with a quick, sturdy shake of Aaron’s hand.

“It is good to meet you as well. I’m Aaron Burr. I’ve been told about you sir,”   _ He didn’t mention that he had only heard he had a dog named after him _ .

“Only good things, I hope.” Von Steuban chuckled, “Going to visit our young man, then?”

Aaron’s hand was released and he smiled awkwardly, nodding. A heavy hand clapped him on the shoulder and the elevator doors finally opened. Von Steuban’s arm didn’t leave him and the tall man practically dragged him out, leading him down the hall towards where Lafayette’s office was. 

“I’m sure he will be glad to see you.” They stopped in front of an open door, and Von Steuban shouted, “Marie! _Votre âme soeur est là pour vous voir!”_

_ “Quoi?”  _ came a voice from inside.

Von Steuban shoved Aaron inside the office, the grin never leaving his face. The small man sent Lafayette a small smile when he met the frenchman’s wide eyes.

“Aaron? What are you doing here?”

He held up the coffee with a weak smile, but inside he was dying. Lafayette stared at it for a moment, the connection finally getting to his brain, and he softened. 

“Thank you, Baron, for escorting my Aaron.”

“Pas de problème, Marie.” he sent them a quick wink and left back down the hall. 

Gilbert crossed the room and shut the door quietly, and Aaron awkwardly placed the cup of coffee on his desk. He turned to look at Gil when the man let out a small laugh.

“So,” he twirled around, hands behind his back, “what brings you here, cher?”

“I thought I’d bring you some coffee. I didn’t think I’d meet your boss.”

“That is very sweet of you, Aaron. Thank you.” he said, picking up the coffee from his desk and taking a sip, “How did you know my order?”

“Hamilton.” Aaron admitted, fighting back a blush when the man thanked him. Lafayette nodded, staring at Aaron with fluttering eyelashes over the lid of the cup. Aaron coughed, looking away from his dark, twinkling eyes.

“I should be getting back to work.” he turned to go, but Lafayette caught his hand softly.

“Oh, but you just got here.” he pouted. Aaron rolled his eyes.

“I just came to give you the coffee. That’s all.” 

“And what brought about this thoughtfulness?” he purred, tugging Aaron back.

He took a deep breath, allowing the man to pull him back. He turned to look at him with a shaky smile, his heart beating a mile a minute, and before he could stop himself, he said,

“Can’t I do something nice for my soulmate?”

The look that broke out onto Gil’s face made Aaron’s heart stop. It was as if the sun had found a new home in his smile and his eyes. He caressed Aaron’s cheek gently, and leaned forward, touching his forehead to the smaller man’s. 

“Again,” he whispered, “Say it again.”

“You’re my soulmate.” Aaron’s voice was softer now, almost as if he was realizing what he’d said at the same time. 

Gil let out a raspy breath, “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for someone to say that to me.”

Before Aaron could step away, Lafayette’s lips pressed against his gently, reverently. His hand came to cradle the back of his neck and Aaron’s eyes drifted shut. The taller man pulled back, only to continue kissing his face.

“Aaron,” he mumbled, “my Aaron.”

Burr’s breath caught in his throat and he froze, stilling beneath Gil’s hands. What? What was happening? He couldn’t think, or breathe. He- this needed to stop, it was too fast, too fast.

He pushed softly against Lafayette’s chest, and the man stopped immediately, taking a step back and looking at him in confusion, his eyes still twinkling.

“Aaron?”

“I have to leave.” he pulled himself away and Lafayette followed as he walked across the room.

“I can drive you-” he said and Aaron whirled around.

“No!” he shouted, and Gil stepped back with wide eyes. Aaron hid his face in his hands for a moment, “I’m sorry. It’s not you. I just need to...go.”

“Alright.” Lafayette said, “alright. Will you call me? Or text me? Something? Just so that I know you are okay?”

Aaron nodded numbly and practically flew out the door, slamming it shut behind him. Lafayette let out a heavy sigh, leaning back against his desk. He understood that because of everything his Aaron had gone through in his life, of course he would be like this. But it hurt Gil that he could only watch it happen. How could he help? He didn’t know.

* * *

 

“Hey Burr, how’d it go!?” Alexander asked excitedly when the man came back.

Aaron didn’t answer, only continued down the hall back to his office. The smile fell from Hamilton’s face and he hurried to keep up with him.

“Aaron, what’s wrong? What happened over there?”

“Nothing, it’s fine.” Aaron’s voice was just above a whisper, and Alexander began to get worried. 

When they made it to his office, Hamilton swept in before the door could be shut in his face. He closed it himself, eyeing Aaron carefully. 

“What happened, Aaron?”

“Nothing!” Aaron kicked at his desk furiously, “That’s the problem, it’s so stupid! I can’t even- why can’t I just- _ EURGH! _ ”

Alexander jumped back in surprise as Aaron’s hands slammed down on his desk. He stood frozen like that for a few moments, before sitting slowly in his chair. Hamilton came around behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m such a fucking mess.”

“Hey, no you’re not.” Alex sat on the desk, his legs dangling beside Aaron and his hand still on his shoulder, “There’s nothing wrong with taking your time, you of all people should know that.”

“But he’s already done so much more for me.”

“I told you before, Aaron. It’s not a contest.”

Aaron sighed, letting his forehead fall on the desk. Alexander moved his hand to rest on Burr’s head.

“It feels like it is.”

“Then that’s something you need to talk to Laf about.” 

Aaron turned his head to look up at Alexander, who was smiling a small pitying smile. It was times like this when he was glad to have Hamilton. Because for all his complaining and yelling, sometimes he could be a really good friend.

Of course, Aaron wasn’t going to listen to his advice, but it was nice to know that there was someone there to at least offer him some.

“I should get going,” Alexander said, hopping off the desk, “think about what I said. Lafayette wouldn’t want you feeling this way. He’ll understand if you just talk to him.”

Aaron made a noncommittal hum and Alex shook his head, walking towards the door. Before he left, Aaron looked up.

“Hamilton?” the man stopped, turning back, “Thank you.”

“No problem, buddy.” Alexander’s smile was bright, “You ever have any problems, you just come to your big brother Alexander.”

“Okay, get out.”

He heard Hamilton’s laughter as he shut the door behind him, and couldn’t help smiling. His fingers came up to touch his lips softly. Lafayette had kissed him. They had kissed, and it had been explosive, and wonderful, and terrifying. He wondered if all soulmates felt that way when they kissed.

Heaving a sigh, Aaron sat back in his chair, pulling out file folder, trying to distract himself. His phone buzzed beside him and he looked over. It was an unknown number

_ Are you alright, cher? _

He bit his lip, and ignored it, throwing himself completely into the work. He would figure out how to repay Gil, he’d do something the other man would love. And this time, he wouldn’t let himself ruin it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mergh, this chapter sucked didn't it?


	6. The Club

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *IMPORTANT* there are mentions of Aaron's past abuse, not really going into any great detail, but just so y'all know!
> 
> So this is the end! There is the epilogue ((which is cute lols)) which i am also almost finished! But i really hope you all enjoyed this story, even if it is pretty short. Thank you so much for all your support!!!

_ “ _ _ Albert! Laisser seul mes chaussures! Merde…” _

Lafayette nudged the dog away from his shoes, moving them to the bedroom. Van Steuban watched lazily from her spot on the couch, before promptly going back to sleep. Gil envied her. He was exhausted, having been caught in an endless stream of worry all day. 

Aaron hadn’t texted him back, even after leaving ten texts, each asking the same thing. Now that he thought about it, that might have been a bit excessive. But what was he supposed to do? He was worried. 

Aaron didn’t think he noticed, but he did. Every time his face scrunched up in a look of unease, or fear, Gil noticed. And every time, Lafayette’s chest tightened at the sight, and he had the overwhelming urge to simply hold him forever, safe in his arms.

He wished he could help him, truly he did, but Aaron had yet to open up to him and he didn’t want to push. That hadn’t ended so well last time. So he would wait, and let Aaron come to him in his own time. He didn’t want to become another thing that made the man uncomfortable.

Sitting down heavily on the couch, he leaned his head back and let out a loud sigh. Von Steuban opened her eyes a bit and shuffled over to him, falling asleep again against his leg.

Gil reached for his phone. One more text couldn’t hurt.

* * *

 

Eleven texts.

Aaron lay quietly on the floor of his apartment, his phone lying beside him. Gil had sent him eleven texts since this afternoon and he had yet to answer any of them. They each said essentially the same thing.

_ Are you alright? _

_ What happened? _

_ Did I do something? _

_ Please talk to me. _

He wanted to text back, tell him he was fine, apologise for earlier, but he just couldn’t. What would he say!? Sorry for running out on you after we just had a significant moment together!? Gil probably thought he was a coward. 

No, it was best to leave it until he figured out how to fix everything. He flipped onto his back and stared up at his ceiling. What would Gil enjoy? Something fun, and exciting, no doubt.

Then suddenly he got it! It was perfect, and it wasn’t too big so he might end up enjoying it too. He pushed himself off the floor and raced over to his laptop, doing a quick search of the area around where they lived.

“Perfect.” he said finally.

He grabbed his phone and shot Gil a quick text, ignoring the ones he had sent him.

* * *

 

_ Date on Saturday? _

Gil frowned at the text. Contrary to what most people would think, that’s not what he wanted to see. Aaron was deflecting away from the situation at hand, what had happened in the office. He understood that Aaron was trying to make this work, but Laf was afraid that he was suffering because of it.

He texted back.

_ Are you sure? _

The response was almost immediate.

_ Of course, why wouldn’t I be? _

He hummed. Gil knew he shouldn’t. He shouldn’t work into whatever idea of martyrdom Aaron had in his head. But he also didn’t want to hurt him. He knew that if he refused, Burr would think something was wrong. He had been right before.

Aaron was a worrier. He over analysed.

_ Alright _

He texted back without another thought. He sighed at the reply.

_ Great :D Here are the details, can’t wait! _

* * *

 

Maybe this was a good idea.

Gil picked through his clothes, choosing a pair of flattering jeans and a tank top. Aaron had told him they were going to a club, which he was excited about at least. It seemed small as well, not too big, so maybe Burr would enjoy it as well.

He grabbed his jacket and, after calling his goodbyes to Von Steuban and Albert, was in the car, driving to Aaron’s apartment. When he arrived, Aaron was already standing outside. Gil leaned out the window with a grin.

“Goin’ my way?” he asked in a terrible american accent, and his face lit up when Aaron laughed. 

“That was awful.” the shorter man commented as he got into the car. Gil looked over at him, eyeing his tight pants and casual button down appreciatively. 

“Are you sure about this?” Lafayette asked, and Aaron rolled his eyes.

“Yes, of course, I suggested it, didn’t I?”

“Yes, but-”

“Gil, just trust me alright?” he tried not to sound irritated as he said it. 

Thankfully Laf only nodded, and started the car, beginning to drive down the street towards the address Aaron had given him. They pulled up in front of a small club, the lights flashing inside and music blasting loudly out onto the street.

He held the door open for Burr, who hesitated for a moment before stepping out. He stayed close to Gil’s side, and as they entered the building, his hand shot out to take his, clinging tightly. Lafayette beamed, intertwining their fingers, as they walked through the crowd to the bar.

“Would you like something to drink?” he asked and Aaron shook his head, looking around nervously. 

“I don’t really drink.” he said.

“Now that is a lie.” Gil laughed, and Aaron looked at him, “You came to the bar with Alexandre the first time we met.”

Aaron laughed, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. The music boomed in his ears and he felt people brushing up against his back, wandering hands touching him. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea in the entire world.

Lafayette didn’t drink either, as it was his car, but Aaron didn’t miss how he looked excitedly at the dance floor, pulling him ever closer to it.

“Would you like to dance?”

His eyes went to the dance floor and he could barely hold back a shiver. It was crowded and loud, people slamming up against each other. It looked awful, and Aaron started to feel incredibly anxious, his heart pounding in his chest.

“Yeah, I would.” he said instead, and allowed Gil to guide him to the floor.

They pushed and jostled their way through, and Aaron looked up at Laf’s face, at how happy he was, and decided he would do anything for him. What was a bit of discomfort to being able to see that look all the time?

So he bit the bullet, staying as close to him as possible and trying not to let him see the displeasure on his face.

* * *

 

As Gil smiled and danced, he looked down at Aaron. His face fell immediately. Aaron’s face was pinched in distress, his eyes shut and his teeth clenched. His hands twitched at his sides, at one point, they snapped up to cover his ears.

Gil stopped dancing.

A scowl formed on his face and he felt his heart drop into his stomach. This...wasn’t right. It wasn’t  _ fair!  _ Lafayette grabbed Aaron’s arm and began to pull him roughly out of the Club. Burr gasped, trying to tug his arm away from Gil’s tight fingers.

“Gil, you’re hurting me.”

His hand dropped Aaron’s arm like it was on fire, moving instead to wrap his arm around his shoulder, still leading him outside.

“What is it?” Aaron asked, and Gil could hear the panic in his voice, “Don’t you like it?”

Lafayette still didn’t speak, and he was beginning to scare Aaron, a tight feeling rising in his chest. They made it to the car and he opened the door for Aaron, waiting for him to get in, a stormy expression on his face.

Aaron’s hands settled on his stomach and he felt like he was going to be sick when he looked at Gil. He silently got into the car, flinching when the door was slammed shut. Lafayette got in on the other side, and started the car.

They drove in silence.

“Gil.” Aaron said finally, his voice quiet, afraid, “Gil, talk to me. What did I do wrong?”

He didn’t speak, only clenched the steering wheel tighter in his hands. Aaron watched him and bit his lip, looking away and out the window, keeping quiet as they drove. They pulled up in front of an unfamiliar building and Gil parked the car. 

Aaron watched him as he got out, unsure of what to do. His door opened suddenly and he held back a gasp and a flinch. He got out slowly, staring up at Gil with wide eyes. 

Laf, for his part, was raging on the inside, frustration, mixed with the look Aaron was giving him, made it hard for him to breath. He wasn’t angry at Aaron, but at the same time, he was. He knew that Aaron was trying to work on the relationship they had, but he was acting like he didn’t matter. Did he not think how much it hurt Gil to know that he was the cause for more of Aaron’s pain?

He slammed the door shut when Aaron had exited the car and bit his lip when he flinched. They needed to talk,  _ he  _ needed to talk, because God knows Aaron wouldn’t. Turning on his heel, he led the way towards his apartment.

The elevator ride up was excruciating, silence filling the small space while Aaron stood on the far side, hands in his pockets.

_ Ding _

Gil flew out, and Aaron struggled to keep up with him. Finally, they came to a door and the tall man put a key in it, throwing the door open.

Lafayette didn’t wait for him to follow, but simply entered.. Aaron walked through, not noticing the lovely decor, or the dogs which barked and yipped their way over to him.

He watched Gil.

“Gilbert, what did I do wrong? Tell me and we can try again, I’ll pick somewhere better to go, I’ll-”

The frenchman whirled around, his teeth barred, and Aaron took an involuntary step back.

“You can do something for yourself, that is what you can do!?” he shouted, and Aaron had to resist the urge to cover his ears, like when he was a boy.

“What are you talking about?”

“Do you think I am stupid, Aaron!? Do you think I cannot see!? Do you think I am blind!?”

“Lafayette-”

“You hate it! Every time we go out ! You hated it when I came over!  _ You  _ invited  _ me  _ Aaron!”

“I didn’t hate it!” he argued, “I just...thought it would be different.”

Gil scoffed, kicking off his shoes and pouring himself a drink from the decanter on the side table. Aaron lingered awkwardly by the door.

“And what were you expecting, then?” his voice was sharp.

“It sure as hell wasn’t you showing up in a suit with champagne asking about my abuse ridden past!”

Aaron was angry now. Von Steuban and Albert had retreated into the bedroom, and Laf rounded on him, a look of disgust on his face.

“Oh so it is all my fault!”

“That’s not what I said-”

“Then what are you saying, Burr!?” he slammed the glass down on the table, marching over to where Aaron stood, “Why do you never _ say anything!? _ If you do not want to go out, we don’t have to! What, do you think I would just leave you if you did not do things for me!? I am not so selfish as you think, Aaron. I want to know what  _ you  _ want for once! What do  **_you want, Burr-_ ** ”

“Maybe if you actually  **_SHUT UP FOR A SECOND, I CAN TELL YOU!_ ** ”

Gil stopped, blinking in surprise and setting his drink on the table. Aaron was fuming. He’d had enough of all this pussy footing around, trying to make Lafayette comfortable. Why the fuck did he deserve to enjoy things when…

_ when Aaron didn’t. _

“I thought you liked that sort of thing! Extravagant things! If you told me you didn’t like them, we could have done something else!”

“It is not that I don’t like them, Aaron.” Laf’s voice was considerably calmer now, and Aaron found himself still raging. Why was he always so calm!? It made Aaron feel like a child throwing an unneeded tantrum.

“Then what!? What is it!?”

“It’s that  _ you  _ do not like them.”

Aaron sputtered, his hands waving at his sides uselessly. Gil picked up his drink again and went to sit on the couch, his eyes never leaving Aaron.

“What does that have to do with anything!?”

He took a long sip from his glass, appraising Aaron over the rim. He set it down again and waved the smaller man over.

“Come here.”

“No.” Aaron said stubbornly, crossing his arms.

“Aaron,  _ please _ .” Gil wasn’t exactly in the mood for his soulmate’s bullheadedness right now. This was important and they needed to talk about it.

Biting his lip, Burr looked at him as he patted the spot on the couch beside him gently. He looked tired, worn out, and Aaron wondered if that was his fault. Who was he kidding, of course it was. He had a habit of making people’s lives harder just by existing. 

So he crossed over, sitting rigidly beside Gil, and staring down at his shoes. 

“Aaron,” the frenchman began, “you told me before that this relationship was not just about you. It is supposed to go both ways, cher. I deserve to be happy and comfortable, but so do you. You do not have to be miserable just to make me happy. That is not how it works.”

The smaller man was silent, his lips pressed into a thin line and his hands clenching at his sides. After a few more minutes of silence between them, Gil sighed.

“I just...do not know what you want.”

“And you think I do!?” Aaron sent him an incredulous look, “I’ve never been in a relationship in my entire life! How the hell should I know what I want!?”

Gil wrapped an arm around his shoulders gently, pulling him close. 

“Why don’t you tell me what you expected on that night.”

Aaron looked down at his hands which were fiddling in his lap. Laf smiled, taking his hands in his and holding them.

“It’s stupid.”

“No, it is important.”

“I wanted it to be comfortable.” Aaron sighed, closing his eyes, focussing on the feeling of his hands in Lafayette’s. “I thought we would sit and watch movies, or talk all night, or...I don’t know. That’s what it’s like in all those romance movies Alexander watches.”

Gil laughed above him and Aaron tilted his head back to glare at him. 

“Well, why didn’t you say anything, cher?” he asked softly, smiling down at his soulmate and moving one hand to stroke his cheek. “That would have been lovely.”

“...I didn’t know how. And then you showed up in a suit with champagne and when you wanted to dance...I ruined it.”

“No,” Lafayette turned Aaron around slightly, putting his hands on his shoulders, “no you ruined nothing.”

It was obvious that Burr didn’t believe him, crossing his arms. 

“Aaron,” he rested his chin on Burr’s head, “I don’t pretend to know the challenges you’re facing, and I know there are challenges, do not deny it. But I would never want to add to those. I do not want to be the cause for your discomfort. Please understand, I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy.”

Aaron didn’t say anything, only let his head fall back on Lafayette’s chest, staring up at the ceiling. Albert and Von Steuban returned to the living room tentatively, now that the shouting was all done, and began sniffing Aaron’s hand, which hung over the couch, just above the floor.

He smiled slightly, looking down at the dogs, and moving to scratch behind their ears. 

“I always wanted a dog,” he said, and his voice sounded very far away, “I never had one though.”

“Well I have two,” Gil laughed, patting Albert on the head gently, “and they are both little monstres? Eh?” 

The dogs barked happily, pushing their faces against Gil’s hand and licking it. Aaron smiled, and his hand clenched his shirt nervously.

“My grandfather never let me have one. He said they were too much work, and that I should focus on work, rather than an animal.”

Lafayette stilled, seeing where this was going. The two dogs seemed to quiet as well, as if they could sense Aaron’s sadness. 

“Cher, you do not have to…” Gil trailed off, when Aaron shook his head.

“I was 13, which wasn’t really too strange. Everyone was expecting it, hell, my grandfather was even excited about it. Wanted to know the name of the girl I’d be bringing home. Then one morning I woke up and it was there.”

He sighed heavily, sinking deeper into Gil’s arms and Gil? Well, as much as he had been ready to comfort his soulmate, hearing it from him was something completely different than when he had heard it from Theodosia. He didn’t know what to do.

“God, that must have been the worst day of my life.” Aaron laughed, and Lafayette’s heart felt like it was breaking in half, “You should have seen it, how disgusted they all were, how panicked. I was the only boy, I had a reputation to uphold, remember. The Burr name, and all that shit. They were all running around, trying to figure out what to do-”

Aaron stopped for a moment.

“-before I left for school. The teachers saw it of course, there was no way of covering it up. I didn’t know what was wrong, I thought it looked pretty.”

He grinned when he said this, tilting his head back to look at Lafayette. 

“It is pretty.” Gil choked out, stroking his cheek, and smiling tightly. 

“Yeah, I think that was the only day in my entire life that I actually liked it. No offense. I thought it was great, all the kids at school thought it was cool, and I spent half an hour in the bathroom just staring at it in the mirror. And then I got home.”

The arms around him tightened as he told of being thrown into the hall closet and locked inside as his grandfather screamed passages from the Bible through the door. How he’d been told that he was tainted, destined for hell because of the name on his face.

“There was nothing they could do about it, though.” he continued, “It couldn’t be covered with makeup or anything. The most he could do was drill into me the fact that I was predestined for hell. Other than to scream at me, he wouldn’t even look at me, neither would my grandmother. And then Sally married Tapping, he wasn’t even her soulmate. She didn’t even look. It was just easier.”

“And then they died.” he didn’t sound sad per say as he said it, instead he simply sighed, “and I got sent to live with Timothy. He didn’t like it either, thought I was an embarrassment, that I made him look bad. His methods were more...direct.”

Aaron suddenly found himself pulled closer, pressed into Gil’s chest, trapped in a cage of long limbs. The frenchman buried his face in his neck, his beard tickling him somewhat. Aaron could feel him shaking as he held him, and he smiled sadly.

“It’s alright, Gil. It was a long time ago, it’s okay now.”

He heard him mumble something, but couldn’t quite tell what it was. Instead, he ran a hand through his curls, tugging gently at a stray lock here and there to distract him from the weight he felt in his heart. Lafayette looked back up at him and Aaron was surprised to find that he had tears in his eyes.

“It is not alright,” he spat out, “you are still in so much pain, and I...I do not know what to do for you.”

Blinking slightly, Aaron couldn’t help breaking out into soft laughter. Gil started, wide eyed and confused.

“You don’t have to do anything for me, Gil.” he said with a small smile, “you’ve done enough already.”

“Then why are you still hurting so?”

Aaron gazed at his soulmate, tilting his head slightly. Lafayette looked small, and unsure. As much as he thought he could magically make Aaron’s problems go away, he couldn’t. And that wasn’t a bad thing, he didn’t expect him to.

“I’ve been dealing with this for a very long time, Gil,” he said gently, running his hands through his hair again, “you can’t expect it to just disappear overnight. I doubt it’ll ever stop hurting.”

“But that is awful!” he persisted.

“Not so much, anymore at least. You did fix one thing.”

“What?” Lafayette asked, obviously skeptical. 

“It’s starting to look pretty again.”

Lafayette laughed softly and Aaron shuffled so his head was back on his chest. Gil’s hand ran up and down his back, calming him, reassuring him that, yes, he was still there. 

“I’m sorry.” he said, “About this evening. It seems like I’m always messing up something.”

“It is not so bad as all that. How do you think I felt when you destroyed my stereo? I am still expecting a new one, by the way.”

Aaron snorted, hiding his smile in Gil’s shirt. 

“What I mean is, you are not the only one who is unsure. We are in this relationship together, and we will figure out every part of it together.”

“How did you get to be so smart?” Aaron asked softly, moving his head to look up at Laf.

“Years of making mistakes.” 

He hummed, letting Gil rest a strong hand on his neck. Before he drifted off, the frenchman patted him gently.

“Aaron?”

“Hm.”

“I need you to promise me that you will not do this again. We must be able to speak to each other, if this is going to work. Please.”

Aaron opened his eyes and looked up at him. Thoughts swirled in his head like a hurricane. He was afraid, terrified really. Of what, he wasn’t sure. Was he afraid that this would actually work, or that Gil would leave him, or that he would mess up again? 

He supposed it was all these things, but at the same time, the quiet calmness he felt right now, lying with Lafayette in his home, held secure in his arms, made him feel safe. He knew everything wouldn’t magically get better right away, but when he looked at his soulmate, who stared back at him with a love he’d never experienced before, he felt something which resonated through heart.

_ Hope. _

“I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did y'all think!? My boys are workin' it out! It's not as dramatic as it could have been but this story isn't a lot about all that miscommunication. I hope you all liked it! I had a lot of fun writing it!!! ^3^ see you at the epilogue!!


	7. More than Anything in this Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this is so late, finals are kicking my ass! But this is it, the epilogue! I hope you enjoy!!!

“Georges? GEORGES! You get back here right now young man!”

Aaron raced through the living room, towel in hand, following a trail of wet footprints, and listening for the sound of soft giggling. This boy was going to be the death of him. He spent too much time with Lafayette, though there wasn’t much he could do about that as he was as much the boy’s father as Aaron was.

_ Literally. _

Still, that made Aaron the only sane one in the entire household. At the moment, the little four year old had escaped the bath, naked and soaking, and was now hidden somewhere in the immense house Gil had insisted they move to.

“Georges, I am giving you to the count of three!”

“One.”

Aaron’s ear twitched as he heard it. Quiet laughter coming from behind one of the couches. He tip toed over to it as quietly as he could.

“Two.”

“Three!”

He leaned over the couch, wrapping the towel around the little boy like a burrito and lifting him up. Georges shrieked and laughed as Aaron spun him around.

“You’re a little monster, you know that?” he tapped the boy’s nose lightly, “Just like your Papa.”

“What about his Papa?” 

Aaron spun around again, glaring playfully at Gil who stood in the archway of the living room. 

“His Papa is a public nuisance.” 

“Dearest, how many times must I tell you? Not a  _ public  _ nuisance, I will only ever bother you. And this little gremlin right here.”

Lafayette snatched the rolled up boy from Aaron’s arms and lifted him high over his head, racing around the living room as Georges screamed with laughter. Aaron sighed, sitting down on the couch and watching as Gil threw their son in the air and caught him with ease.

It was now five years since the two had been  _ together _ , and three since they had been married. Of course it had been Lafayette who proposed, spectacularly and in front of all their friends as was expected. Aaron had turned up his nose dramatically and said,

“Good Lord no!”

As a joke of course, but Lafayette’s face crumbled and Aaron immediately assured him that  _ oh my god of course I’ll marry you, you idiot, I was joking _ . Gil had scowled and called him cruel as their friends laughed. Aaron apologised and kissed him gently. 

They had adopted Georges a year later and there was nothing in Aaron’s life that could make him more happy than he was right now. 

“How was work?” he called to Lafayette who was still zooming around with their son. Albert and Von Steuban bounded in after another moment, leaping at Gilbert’s legs and barking excitedly. 

“Not awful.” he hummed, tucking Georges under his arm as the boy kicked and giggled, “I am glad to be home though. You are lucky, you were able to relax all day!”

“Relax!?” Aaron gasped dramatically, “With this little troublemaker running around? I don’t think so.”

“Oh but he is always so good for me!”

“He just likes you better.”

They’d adopted Georges from a small orphanage in France, and while the boy could speak english well enough, Gil loved talking to him in French. Aaron watched them suspiciously as they muttered together, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be upset. 

He knew Gil missed France.

Aaron hadn’t told him yet, but he’d already ordered three tickets to Gil’s home for Christmas. 

“Daddy taught me a song on the piano today, Papa!” Georges shouted excitedly from Lafayette’s arms and the man beamed.

“Did he really? You will have to play it for me, I am sure you will be a prodigy, just like your father.”

Aaron scoffed as Lafayette sent him a wink. 

“I was hardly a prodigy,” he smiled though, “but I’m sure you will be a genius. You’re already so talented! But even talented boys need to wear clothes, let’s go get you changed.”

Gil held Georges out to Aaron as he got off the couch. He carried him towards the bedroom and Lafayette followed. If he thought Aaron couldn’t see him making faces at Georges as they went, he was dead wrong.

“Gil, stop being a  _ nuisance _ .” he called and was rewarded with a gasp.

“Your papa has eyes in the back of his head, Georgie.” Gil whispered and Georges nodded solemnly. 

Aaron put the little boy down in his room and leaned against the doorframe, watching as Laf tried to wrangle him into his pajamas. Who knew five year olds had so much energy? It was still so strange having a child. Whenever Aaron put him to bed this early, he always felt obliged to go to bed as well. 

Not that Gil allowed him to sleep...usually...ever.

All the same, adopting Georges was the best decision they’d ever made, and as much as Aaron complained about the boy’s seemingly endless well of energy, he wouldn’t change it for anything in the entire world.

When Laf finally got the boy into his little polka dotted pajamas, he sat him  on the bed, waving Aaron over. He rolled his eyes but came all the same, sitting on Georges’ other side while the boy picked out a book from his shelf. 

“Did you want me or your papa to read tonight?” Aaron asked and Georges looked up at him with eyes that sparkled like the sun.

“I will read tonight, daddy!” he cried and Aaron put his hand to his chest dramatically.

“Really? Are you sure you’re ready for that, Georges?”

“Yes! Yes!” and Aaron laughed at how his little voice sounded, french accent still thick when he spoke.

“Alright, go ahead.”

As Georges fumbled through the story book, saying each word slowly and carefully with Gil or Aaron helping him every now and then, the two adults looked at each other. Lafayette had a smile on his face, the same smile he had on whenever he came home and saw Aaron and Georges. 

How lucky was he to be alive, like this, with his soulmate and his son, right now?

He could barely comprehend it.

Georges let out a wide yawn, stretching his little arms above his head, and Aaron barely covered a yawn of his own, glaring when Gil laughed.

“I think it is time for you to go to bed, non Georgie?”

“Oui, Papa.” the little boy answered in a tired voice.

They tucked Georges gently into bed, each giving him a gentle kiss on the forehead. Before they left, Aaron stopped by the bookshelf in the corner of the boy’s room. He took down a familiar music box and wound it before setting it back on the shelf. 

Soft music filled the room and the two men left, shutting the door quietly behind them. Lafayette didn’t hesitate to loop an arm around Aaron’s waist, pressing a kiss to his temple.

“So I am a monster?” he asked teasingly and Aaron huffed.

“I think the two of you conspire against me. There’s a plot in this house to make my life harder.”

“Ohh, you are so hard done by.”

“Damn right. I work harder than anyone in this house.”

“Cher, it is only you and I who work...and I work very hard!” he exclaimed, finally catching onto what Aaron was saying.

“I’m just joking, Gil. Sometimes I wonder if you can even tell what a joke is.”

“If this is about the proposal-”

Aaron laughed loudly and Lafayette huffed, but a smile played on his lips. He loved it when Aaron laughed, it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard in his life.

“You wound me, cher!” he put a hand to his heart dramatically, “What a fool I was to think this relationship would work-”

He was immediately silenced by Aaron’s lips pressing softly against his own, which wasn’t altogether unwanted. Gil wrapped his arm tighter around his husband’s waist and pulled him closer, leaning back against the wall and deepening the kiss.

“We shouldn’t.” Aaron said, pulling away slightly. Gil’s lips followed his as he pulled away, but stopped. He looked down at the man in confusion.

“What-”

“Not right outside Georges’ bedroom.” he explained, slapping Laf gently on the arm.

“Ugh, you make too many rules! Come then.”

Lafayette went ahead of Aaron, ignoring how the man rolled his eyes, and entered their bedroom.

“Excuse me if I don’t don’t want to have to explain sex to our 5 year old son.” 

“You worry too much, cher.” Lafayette couldn’t help chuckling as he shut the door behind them and waltzed back over to Aaron, taking his hands in his own.

“I still think I should have picked out the colours in here.” Aaron griped, looking around at the white and purple covering the room.

It was attractive, sure, and reminded Aaron of Gil, but the white walls weren’t the best for hangovers. Though, the were planning on changing one of the small windows to stain glass, and Aaron liked that idea very much. 

“You got to paint the living room.” Laf reminded him.

“Oh yeah.”

The room downstairs was warmer, painted in maroons and browns, looking a lot more cozy when compared to the spotless white wall and swooping purple drapes of their bedroom. Lafayette still gripped Aaron’s hand, pulling him gently towards the bed.

“You know it’s only 7:30 right?”

“Too early to sleep, yes.” Gil agreed, “but we are not going to sleep.”

“No?” Aaron asked knowingly and laughed at his husband’s glare.

“No, we are not.”

Aaron shrieked as Gil lifted him and threw him onto the bed. He followed soon after, jumping not on top of Aaron but beside him. The smaller man glared, and Laf only smiled, staring at him with big eyes. He propped his head in his hands, watching Aaron.

“Je t’aime.” he murmured, reaching out and running a hand over his husband’s eye, around the mark which had caused them both such trouble, but which was now only looked at with love and appreciation.

“English.” Aaron whispered back, shuffling closer, so their noses were almost touching.

“I love you.”

The look Aaron had on his face was almost one of disbelief as he stared at his husband. He quickly kissed the man on the lips, pulling away and curling into Gil’s chest.

“Mon amour, what is wrong?” he wrapped his arms around the man and held him closely.

“I don’t deserve you.” Aaron muttered and Lafayette had to strain his ears to hear him. He tutted, stroking Aaron’s back gently.

“Nonsense. It is I who does not deserve you. You are the one that has to put up with Georges and I, everyday, non?”

“I love being with you two.” Aaron sighed, “You’ve changed my life. I...never thought that I’d ever have a proper family.”

“Well  you do now, cher.” Lafayette pressed a kiss to his forehead.

No sooner had he done that then he leaned back, his arms now on either side of Aaron. He stared down at the smaller man with lidded eyes and a grin Aaron knew far too well.

“But I did not bring you here to talk shop, Aaron Burr.”

“Did Alexander teach you that phrase?” Aaron asked, rolling his eyes, “Because that is no way to talk about your family-”

He was silenced by lips softly pressing against his, as he was flipped onto his back, Lafayette lying on top of him.

“You have Georges tomorrow,” Aaron said between kisses, “it’s monday. Remember.”

“You are painfully awful at pillow talk, cher.”

“Well what if you forget him again? I’ll have to take him and he’ll spend all his time with Washington or worse...Hamilton. Do you want that to be the influence for our child?”

“Hush.”

“Before we know it, he’ll grow a beard and be writing out essays on his etch-a-sketch until five in the morning.”

Gil giggled, pulling away to hide his face in Aaron’s neck. Their laughter filled the room, and Aaron wrapped his arms around Gil. Of course, he had short arms and Gil was rather...broad, so they didn’t reach all the way around, but the sentiment was still there, and Laf melted into his touch.

“I love you too, you know?” he mumbled to the frenchman, “I know I should say it more, but-”

“You say it just enough, cher.” he pressed his lips to Aaron’s cheek, then back to his lips, “You are wonderful.”

“Not as wonderful as you are-”

“Aaron.”

“Sorry, sorry.”

Lafayette sighed through his nose, his breath tickling Aaron’s face. He moved to sit up, pulling his soulmate with him, and ignoring his whining. 

“Do not tell me you actually want to sleep. It’s only 7:30!”

“It’s so comfortable though.”

“Then let’s at least get changed,” Gil laughed as Aaron wrapped his arms around his neck, “you cannot sleep in those.”

“Oh, what? These are my stay at home clothes.”

Lafayette shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. Aaron buried his face in his neck and wrapped his legs around his waist. If this had been any other time, Lafayette would have been ecstatic, his mind going to somewhere more... _ biblical _ . 

But, again, he had been with Aaron for five years, he knew him too well.

Letting out a sigh, he got up from the bed, his soulmate wrapped around him like a koala, and made his way to their drawers. 

“You are worse than Georgie.” he muttered, taking out his own pajamas and putting them on the bed, trying to untangle himself from Aaron so he could get his.

“See, that kid’s got the right idea. Sleep all day. What a wonderful philosophy.”

“Are you going to get off so I can change?”

“No.”

Gil smirked and, with Aaron still wrapped around him, he raced towards the bed, jumping on it and effectively crushing the smaller man underneath him. Aaron shouted out, groaning under the weight of his husband. 

“You’re so fat, get off!” he shouted, slapping at him and Gil gasped dramatically.

“Excusez-moi!? This is all muscle and you love it!”

“Not when it’s crushing me!”

“Then will you stop clinging to me like a sloth?”

“I thought you liked it when I did this.” Aaron wheezed, and Gil finally moved off him. 

“Not when you are falling asleep. Come on now, do not make me dress you like Georges.”

“Alright, alright.”

Aaron got off the bed, and went to his own drawer, his back to Lafayette as the man changed. He pulled out his sweatpants and tank top, throwing them on the bed. Then he started to undress.

“Ohh, Monsieur Burr.” Gil gasped, fanning himself as Aaron took off his shirt.

“You’re impossible.” he grumbled, but he couldn’t hide his smile. He threw the shirt at Lafayette who laughed as he caught it.

“What would you do without me though?”

“Oh, plenty of things. My work, for one, maybe read a book, meditate, some yoga, bird watching-”

Now it was Gil’s turn to silence his lover, and Aaron melted into the kiss, their bodies fitting together like a puzzle as he stood on the tips of his toes. When Gil pulled away, he smiled at the dreamy expression on Aaron’s face.

“It wouldn’t be as much fun though, would it?” he asked.

“No,” Burr answered, “no it wouldn’t be.”

Another yawn escaped him and he tried to cover it up but Gil only laughed, squeezing his hands and pulling him towards the bed.

“Come, you should sleep.”

Lafayette led him to the side of the bed and the two settled down, the frenchman’s strong arms wrapped around Aaron tightly as he placed last minute kisses to his temple.

Aaron’s eyes fluttered as he tried to stay awake, looking up at Gil with a soft smile. Lafayette simply stared at him, as he did most nights, wondering how he had gotten so lucky. The last few years together had been the best he’d ever had. It hadn’t always been easy, there were arguments, and shouting, long nights sleeping on the couch as Aaron cried in the bedroom.

But every time, they had worked it out, talked and cleared the air. Aaron hadn’t gotten better over night, but Gil hadn’t expected him to, and he had stayed by him through everything.

Truth be told, having Aaron around was a blessing. Somehow he always knew what to say and they complimented each other perfectly. He smiled, that’s why they were soulmates he supposed. Aaron was, for lack of a better word, perfect. 

“What’re you thinking about?” the man in question asked sleepily.

“What makes you think I am thinking at all?”

“You look like you’re high. That’s your thinking face.”

“What-!?”

“What are you thinking about?” he asked again and Laf huffed, scowling at him.

Aaron smiled and moved his hand to run it through Gil’s curls, and the frenchman mentally cursed. How did he always know just what to do? He relaxed, tilting his head into the touch and humming gently.

“I was thinking about you.”

“Yeah?”

He didn’t miss the blush which crept up his husband’s face. Even after years of marriage, Aaron was still so shy. It was adorable.

“I was thinking about how beautiful you are.”

“Gil-” Aaron laughed and buried his face deeper into his pillow to hide his blush.

“And how much I love you.”

Aaron’s face was now fully hidden in the pillow as Gil laughed, wrapping an arm around his side and letting his hand rest on Aaron’s waist. He shuffled closer so his face was right next to Aaron’s and when the man peeked up, Lafayette kissed him gently beneath his eye. 

“I am glad you decided to love me.” he muttered and Aaron smiled.

“Well, how couldn’t I? With you being so charming and everything.” he fluttered his eyelashes dramatically. 

“Ooohhh? I am charming? Why have you never told me this before?” Lafayette shimmied closer, tangling his legs around Aaron’s.

“Because you, sir,” Burr answered, “have a large enough ego as it is.”

Lafayette pulled a face and Aaron laughed softly, proceeding to let his head rest on his husband’s chest. He reached out a hand and took Gil’s, intertwining their fingers as he closed his eyes. 

“I love you Gil. I love you more than anything.”

Even after five years, Lafayette’s heart still skipped a beat whenever Aaron said those words, and now was no exception. He stared up at the ceiling, his heart swelling as he held Aaron’s hand tighter, refusing to let go for anything. And he wouldn’t. He’d never let him go again. 

“I love you too, Aaron Burr. More than life itself.”

And it was true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally loved writing this story, and i hope y'all liked it too!!! Thank you all so much for reading it, and for all your encouragement! :D

**Author's Note:**

> Come scream your words at me @hamilanne


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